Build a Fitness Routine That Survives Setbacks
Stuck restarting your routine every time life gets hard? Learn why you self-sabotage weight loss and how to adjust instead of quitting on this episode of the Get Sculpted podcast.
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Usually, women fall off track for the same reason. Somewhere along the way, they decided the only version of their plan that counted was the one they couldn't follow right now. When that version stopped working, they dropped everything instead of adjusting anything.
The coaches call it self-abandonment. Some people would call it self-sabotage. Either way, it shows up the same: an injury, a busy work stretch, a trip, or a hard month convinces you the whole plan is off the table, so you skip the workouts, skip the meal prep, and spend weeks trying to dig back out instead of adjusting what you were already doing.
Here's what’s covered:
Why self-abandonment shows up the moment life gets hard, and why it's a decision, not something that just happens to you
The all-or-nothing trap, and why "if I can't do the whole thing, I won't do any of it" keeps women stuck in the same restart cycle
Dealing with setbacks in real time: an injury, a new puppy, a busy work stretch, and how each coach adjusted the plan instead of abandoning it
Staying fit while traveling: Marilynn's month in Europe and the non-negotiables that carried her through
Growth mindset versus victim mindset, and why it's the actual lever behind results, not the workout plan itself
How to build a fitness routine, and protect your routine consistency, so it survives real disruptions instead of collapsing at the first one
Defining your BAM (bare-ass minimum), and why a smaller version of your routine still counts
Separating your goal from your plan: the destination doesn't change, the route does
Building a workout routine for busy moms and anyone whose schedule refuses to stay put
Jordanna's story from this year sums up the whole episode. She broke her toe in July, no idea how, and instead of sitting it out until it healed, she moved her training to the gym, focused on upper body and isolated machines, and swapped walks for bike rides that kept her foot flat. Nothing about that month looked normal. All of it stayed intact.
"You're not dropping down to the first bare minimum you've set. You're raising the floor." - Coach Jordanna
If your pattern has been restarting your routine every time life gets hard, that's exactly the cycle Marilynn, Tijana, and Jordanna help their clients break. Applications are open at getsculpted.ca/contact.
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More about the Get Sculpted Podcast
Welcome to Get Sculpted, the podcast for women who want to gain muscle and lose belly fat, improve their metabolism, and create real results using science-based fat loss strategies and practical coaching.
We go beyond quick fixes and fad diets to give you sustainable fat loss, strength training for weight loss, and fitness tips for women who want results without burning out. You’ll learn how lifting weights supports fat loss, how to train smarter instead of longer, and how to build habits that fit your lifestyle. Think less about guessing, more about clarity, and about progress you can maintain.
Whether you’re getting started or focused on building muscle after 30, this podcast gives women the tools to lose fat, gain muscle, and feel stronger, without relying on endless cardio or restrictive plans. We emphasize fat loss without cardio extremes, so you can train with confidence and consistency.
We’re your hosts, Jordanna, Marilynn, and Tijana, fitness professionals with over 20 years of combined experience and 1,000+ client transformations. With a strong focus on helping women 30 and older, we specialize in strength training, improving metabolism, and weight training for sustainable, realistic weight loss.
We’ll cover questions like:
Can you build muscle and lose belly fat at the same time?
How does strength training support weight loss?
What’s the best way to lose fat without losing muscle?
What’s the best way to lose fat without relying on cardio?
How can lifting weights improve my metabolism?
Why am I not losing weight even though I’m working out and eating healthy?
How can I stop yo-yo dieting for good?
If you’ve been searching for sustainable fat loss, women’s nutrition, and weight training that actually works, you’re in the right place. Join us every week for practical guidance, honest conversations, and tools to sculpt a stronger body and a more confident life.
Connect with us on Instagram at @getsculted.ca
The unedited podcast transcript for this episode of the Get Sculpted podcast follows:
Jordanna [00:00:19 - 00:00:19]: [00:00:19] Yep.
The Cycle of Self-Abandonment
Marilynn [00:00:20 - 00:00:48]: [00:00:20] The reality is life doesn't pause for the work we're doing on ourselves. [00:00:25] Your kids are gonna get sick. [00:00:26] Work deadlines are gonna pile up. [00:00:28] Your to-do list is gonna keep growing. [00:00:30] Bad news is still gonna fall on your lap. [00:00:32] And the version of you who was finally feeling like she was hitting her stride suddenly feels like she's back at square one, starting from scratch. [00:00:40] And that is the cycle that keeps repeating over and over again. [00:00:44] The pattern that most women fall into when this happens is that they abandon themselves.Marilynn [00:00:48 - 00:00:55]: [00:00:48] They stop working out, they stop, you know, meal prepping. [00:00:51] Some people stop eating altogether and Your routine just falls apart.
Jordanna [00:00:55 - 00:00:55]: [00:00:55] Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:00:55 - 00:01:23]: [00:00:55] And then you spend days, weeks, months, sometimes longer trying to figure out how to get back on track. [00:01:01] And all this does is make you feel more behind and it makes you feel like a failure every time you have to restart. [00:01:08] So if this sounds like the pattern you're in, here's what we wanna challenge in today's episode. [00:01:13] You don't fall off track because life happened, okay? [00:01:16] You fall off track because you decided that the only valid version of your plan was the one that you couldn't currently follow.
Tijana [00:01:23 - 00:01:23]: [00:01:23] Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:01:23 - 00:01:57]: [00:01:23] And instead of adjusting, you just decided that you were gonna abandon everything entirely. [00:01:28] And that is the decision that has been costing you. [00:01:31] Not, you know, the sick kid, the injury, the crisis at work. [00:01:34] It is the decision that you make to drop yourself every single time when you could have simply adjusted. [00:01:41] So today, that's what we are breaking down. [00:01:43] We're gonna talk about the pattern of self-abandonment and what that's actually costing you. [00:01:47] We are gonna get into the mindset shift that will absolutely change things for you. [00:01:51] And then as always, we're gonna give you some practical ideas for how to change your plan without changing your goal.
Personal Stories: Adjust, Don’t Abandon
Marilynn [00:01:57 - 00:02:14]: [00:01:57] But before we dive in, ladies, I love sharing stories with our audience. [00:02:02] We've definitely had, um, things happen to us, even let's say in the last few months that have tried to derail our routine. [00:02:08] But for us, because we've built these strategies, we haven't let it. [00:02:12] So anything come to mind?Jordanna [00:02:14 - 00:02:14]: [00:02:14] Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:02:14 - 00:02:20]: [00:02:14] Even over the last couple months where something's happened or something you've been dealing with? [00:02:18] And yeah, it could have derailed you, but it didn't.
Jordanna [00:02:20 - 00:02:46]: [00:02:20] I broke my toe in July, which seems so random and little, but I broke my toe in July. [00:02:28] Literally can't tell you how I did it. [00:02:30] No idea. [00:02:30] Just, it was broken. [00:02:32] And usually what happens with an injury like that, even something so small, I could have stopped working out. [00:02:39] I could have stopped walking. [00:02:40] I could have been like, oh, woe is me, and just started eating a bunch of stuff and Literally abandoned all of my health and wellness goals.
Marilynn [00:02:47 - 00:02:47]: [00:02:47] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:02:47 - 00:02:54]: [00:02:47] But the adjustment for that was, you know, I went to the gym instead of going to my home gym so I could use machines.
Marilynn [00:02:54 - 00:02:55]: [00:02:54] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:02:55 - 00:03:04]: [00:02:55] Which were more isolating. [00:02:56] So I wasn't bending my foot or putting too much pressure with lower body movements. [00:03:01] I went and did more focus on upper body.
Marilynn [00:03:04 - 00:03:04]: [00:03:04] Love it.
Jordanna [00:03:04 - 00:03:15]: [00:03:04] Instead of going on, you know, for long walks, which had me bending like in the toe box, I ended up doing my bike rides, which kept the foot flat and—
Tijana [00:03:15 - 00:03:15]: [00:03:15] Yeah, right.
Jordanna [00:03:15 - 00:03:16]: [00:03:15] Didn't have an issue.
Tijana [00:03:16 - 00:03:17]: [00:03:16] Perfect.
Jordanna [00:03:17 - 00:03:41]: [00:03:17] And everything kind of just stayed the same. [00:03:20] I wasn't going as intense with my workouts. [00:03:23] I did hold back a little bit just 'cause too much pressure hurt my foot, but I kept the consistency there. [00:03:28] And I think that that was such a game changer for me. [00:03:30] And it, it, it took a really long time to get there that I can do it on my own now. [00:03:34] But I certainly have had a lot of help over the years with various coaches and mentors that have, Help me tweak to get to here.
Marilynn [00:03:41 - 00:03:44]: [00:03:41] Right. [00:03:42] Ti, anything happen to you recently?
Tijana [00:03:45 - 00:03:47]: [00:03:45] Here's the thing, like, I feel like this is very ingrained in my nature, right?
Jordanna [00:03:47 - 00:03:47]: [00:03:47] Yes.
Tijana [00:03:47 - 00:03:49]: [00:03:47] Where like, I'm always in problem solving mode.
Jordanna [00:03:49 - 00:03:49]: [00:03:49] You are.
Tijana [00:03:49 - 00:03:50]: [00:03:49] Always.
Marilynn [00:03:50 - 00:03:50]: [00:03:50] Yeah, you are.
Tijana [00:03:50 - 00:03:57]: [00:03:50] To the point, I'm very logical brain. [00:03:52] So like, we, we just got a puppy and, uh, it sounds silly that that would be an excuse, but—
Marilynn [00:03:57 - 00:03:59]: [00:03:57] No, some people it, it has been, or it is.
Tijana [00:04:00 - 00:04:16]: [00:04:00] Look, my thinking is always like, I can do something. [00:04:03] I mean, I have a home gym, I can at least be there. [00:04:05] And yeah, I mean, I haven't missed a beat because let's be honest, like, it's a puppy, right? [00:04:09] It's not like a child, but you know, anyway, it's been a disruption in like maybe the freedom to train whenever.
Marilynn [00:04:16 - 00:04:16]: [00:04:16] Yep.
Tijana [00:04:16 - 00:04:41]: [00:04:16] And then actually I got very busy recently with like business stuff. [00:04:21] And funny enough, I've heard of a lot of fitness business people who like get really busy and neglect their fitness. [00:04:26] And I'm like, oh, hell no. [00:04:28] My rule is like, if something is in my calendar, I'm gonna do it normally. [00:04:32] 'Cause I have such a freedom in my schedule, right? [00:04:33] I'm my own boss. [00:04:35] I'd be like, you know, I'm gonna move this workout to like when I have more time before and after. [00:04:38] But now I'm like, nah, it's in there for the hour. [00:04:41] And I'm gonna do it.
Tijana [00:04:41 - 00:04:49]: [00:04:41] And, and also I've trained at like 8 in the morning when I don't normally do that. [00:04:44] So I think my big theme to myself is like, just do it. [00:04:47] Don't do it in perfect conditions. [00:04:49] Do something.
Holding on to Core Habits During Disruption
Marilynn [00:04:49 - 00:05:14]: [00:04:49] Yeah. [00:04:50] For me, I was traveling in Europe over the summer. [00:04:52] I was gone for a month and like, let's be honest, my routine was completely off. [00:04:56] Like there were no gyms in Italy to be found. [00:04:59] I was eating every meal out 'cause I wasn't preparing my food. [00:05:03] So yeah, like I very much leaned into my core habits. [00:05:06] My environment was totally different, but I still had my non-negotiables that I was like, no matter what, I'm moving my body. [00:05:12] No matter what, I'm prioritizing protein.Marilynn [00:05:14 - 00:05:38]: [00:05:14] I'm managing portions. [00:05:15] Like, those things never left. [00:05:18] A big motto I live by is adjust, don't abandon. [00:05:20] And that's exactly what I did, right? [00:05:21] Whereas for some people, and again, I want everybody listening to know this is not a judgment. [00:05:25] We're just helping create awareness of where you start to abandon yourself. [00:05:30] For a lot of women, travel, that's a big one. [00:05:32] They kind of like, Okay, I'll figure it out when I get home. [00:05:35] But for me, it was definitely adjusting instead of abandoning everything.
Why Do We Drop Ourselves When Things Get Hard?
Marilynn [00:05:38 - 00:05:48]: [00:05:38] So as you can see, we as coaches, this is very real for us as well. [00:05:43] So, Jord, I wanna pass it over to you. [00:05:45] Let's talk a little bit about why do we drop ourselves when things get hard?Jordanna [00:05:49 - 00:06:19]: [00:05:49] Yeah, I will take it back, not to necessarily blame society, so to speak, but I think it is actually a societal challenge, like something that women are still ingrained to. [00:06:01] Put other people first. [00:06:03] Like, you are a good woman when you are taking care of other people, when you get your to-do list done, when your work is like A+ quality. [00:06:13] And the cost of that has always been our own self-care, our own mental health.
Marilynn [00:06:19 - 00:06:19]: [00:06:19] Yeah.
All or Nothing Thinking and False Mindsets
Jordanna [00:06:19 - 00:07:10]: [00:06:19] And you know, this is something we have talked about before, but this is what causes that self-abandonment issue. [00:06:26] It's very cyclical. [00:06:27] So even if the second life does get hard, you're the first thing to drop on that list. [00:06:33] And so the pattern that we see a lot, and I'm sure you guys have seen it with people that you've spoken to or even clients that we help them break these patterns, they're getting into a good rhythm, they're building momentum, they're seeing progress, they're getting their routine together. [00:06:49] And, you know, for right now being in September, that could mean like switching back into the back-to-school routine or your kid went to university or you're just shifting from summer vibes. [00:06:59] to fall vibes, and what does that mean in your home? [00:07:02] The schedule changes, the days are starting to get a little shorter. [00:07:05] All of these changes affect how we move through the world.Tijana [00:07:10 - 00:07:10]: [00:07:10] Mm-hmm.
Jordanna [00:07:10 - 00:07:27]: [00:07:10] And that could, depending on who you are, make it seem harder. [00:07:13] So you drop your workout, you skip the workout to sleep in, then you didn't prep your food 'cause you were too busy prepping somebody else's food or getting everybody else ready for back to school. [00:07:23] So you go to work on an empty stomach and you'll pick up Starbucks on the way.
Tijana [00:07:27 - 00:07:27]: [00:07:27] Whatever.
Jordanna [00:07:27 - 00:07:49]: [00:07:27] And then by the time you hit 3 o'clock, you're like, shoot, I didn't even eat lunch. [00:07:31] And you go home and you binge on a glass of wine and all kinds of snacks while you're making your kid dinner. [00:07:36] And then you get more stressed out and your time management slips even further. [00:07:41] And before you know it, you're like, how did this even happen? [00:07:44] It's November and I'm feeling like garbage when I started with the best of intentions.
Tijana [00:07:49 - 00:07:50]: [00:07:49] Mm-hmm.
Jordanna [00:07:50 - 00:08:06]: [00:07:50] And the best of intentions won't get you to the results that you want or having even the journey that you want. [00:07:57] You really have to start with the fact that you can't get stuck in some of these mindset shifts. [00:08:03] And so there's a couple that I just wanna highlight.
Marilynn [00:08:06 - 00:08:06]: [00:08:06] Mm-hmm.
The All or Nothing Trap
Jordanna [00:08:06 - 00:08:37]: [00:08:06] The first one is the all or nothing trap. [00:08:09] And this one, we've talked about it before, but if I can't do the whole thing, yeah, I won't do any of it. [00:08:15] And T, this is something that you said, it's like, okay, well, like if I can't do everything, I'm gonna do the best that I can so that, you know, yeah, that's all you can do. [00:08:23] That's all I can do. [00:08:24] And at least you're maintaining some semblance of a consistency. [00:08:27] It's carved out in your schedule and you will feel a sense of pride in yourself for having done even just a little bit. [00:08:33] The next one is, this is a classic. [00:08:36] We hear this a lot.
The Myth of "When Life Settles Down"
Jordanna [00:08:37 - 00:08:39]: [00:08:37] I'll get back to it when things settle down.Tijana [00:08:40 - 00:08:40]: [00:08:40] Like when? [00:08:40] This is the best.
Jordanna [00:08:41 - 00:08:42]: [00:08:41] Like, when is that?
Tijana [00:08:42 - 00:08:44]: [00:08:42] Like, what is more important than being fit?
Jordanna [00:08:44 - 00:08:49]: [00:08:44] Well, when has life ever settled down for you? [00:08:46] Do you guys, have you ever had that life settle down?
Marilynn [00:08:49 - 00:08:53]: [00:08:49] I always say I just go from phases of like busy to like insanely busy.
Jordanna [00:08:54 - 00:09:06]: [00:08:54] It's true. [00:08:55] And the moment maybe you do have a season where it starts to settle down, you're too burnt out to start anything. [00:09:00] And I found that the most successful clients have actually started in their busiest seasons because they want the structure.
Marilynn [00:09:06 - 00:09:07]: [00:09:06] Always.
Jordanna [00:09:07 - 00:09:11]: [00:09:07] They wanna know how to succeed when it's hard. [00:09:10] Were you gonna add something, team?
Tijana [00:09:11 - 00:09:19]: [00:09:11] I was just gonna say, having a routine, when you start thinking differently, which we're gonna talk about, it's like you actually see it as comforting. [00:09:17] Yeah. [00:09:17] Like I, I would feel a mess.
Marilynn [00:09:19 - 00:09:19]: [00:09:19] It's an anchor.
Tijana [00:09:19 - 00:09:27]: [00:09:19] It's an anchor. [00:09:20] I, I would not want to take fitness off my plate. [00:09:23] Like it's always on my plate. [00:09:25] It's my emotional support thing. [00:09:27] You know what I mean?
Jordanna [00:09:28 - 00:09:28]: [00:09:28] Yeah.
Marilynn [00:09:28 - 00:09:28]: [00:09:28] Yep.
Jordanna [00:09:29 - 00:09:58]: [00:09:29] I totally agree because when you do stop it, there's a cost to continuing to start that back up. [00:09:35] There's a compounding negative effect on your mindset. [00:09:39] You feel like it's harder than the last time. [00:09:41] There could be a longer time gap between those starts and stops. [00:09:45] And it takes a hit to your self-confidence, truly. [00:09:48] Like, how many times have you hurt someone? [00:09:50] Or maybe you're listening to this and you're like, I just don't want to fail again. [00:09:54] So it becomes easier to settle with where you're at, and we don't want that for you.
Shifting Toward a Growth Mindset
Marilynn [00:09:58 - 00:09:58]: [00:09:58] No.Jordanna [00:09:59 - 00:10:15]: [00:09:59] So let's like move in from now. [00:10:02] You have clarity on where this has come from, what you might be saying to yourself, and what it's costing you. [00:10:09] Ti, can you talk to us a little bit about like How shifting that mindset can change absolutely everything for you.
Tijana [00:10:16 - 00:10:26]: [00:10:16] Mindset is everything. [00:10:17] And I just wanna start with that because I think a lot of the time we hold ourselves back and 90% of it is just how we think about things, even in the same situation.
Marilynn [00:10:26 - 00:10:27]: [00:10:26] Mm-hmm.
Victim Mentality vs. Growth Mindset
Tijana [00:10:27 - 00:10:51]: [00:10:27] And I, I have a client who I actually, uh, reframed something for her a few times. [00:10:32] And, uh, when she does her check-ins, I'll say, look, here's what we gotta do, XYZ, whatever the recommendation was. [00:10:38] You gotta eat these meals and not live off snacks or whatever. [00:10:40] And she's like, Well, these are all the reasons why it's harder. [00:10:42] I'm not trying to make excuses. [00:10:43] And I actually screenshot and I said, I want you to actually reframe everything you said. [00:10:46] Not that these things don't exist, not that they're not real, right? [00:10:49] Not that you all have the same 24 hours. [00:10:50] You don't.Tijana [00:10:51 - 00:11:16]: [00:10:51] But I want you to reframe your statements as something that is gonna facilitate your growth here. [00:10:56] That's the, the mindset shift here, right? [00:10:58] It's the growth mindset versus the victim mentality. [00:11:01] And, um, the victim mentality can look like this. [00:11:05] Something happens to you. [00:11:06] Why does this always happen to me? [00:11:08] I'm finally getting somewhere in my fitness and now I get freaking injured. [00:11:11] This is impossible. [00:11:12] I can't fit this in right now. [00:11:13] How am I supposed to do anything when my life is like this? [00:11:16] It's not fair.
Tijana [00:11:17 - 00:11:49]: [00:11:17] She has it so easy. [00:11:18] And look, all of these things, sometimes you wanna vent, you can vent with your bestie, vent with your therapist, but leave it at that. [00:11:24] Because the more you feed these thoughts, you're gonna add logs to the fire, and then your brain is just looking for those confirmation biases. [00:11:30] It's like, see, I already did this and it didn't work. [00:11:33] Well, look, it might not change your situation, just how you look at your situation. [00:11:36] What good is it getting you to just nonstop talk in circles about how your life is hard? [00:11:41] That is my biggest pet peeve. [00:11:42] And, um, when I grew up, like my mom was very much like that. [00:11:45] So I'm very cognizant to not do that because it doesn't change your situation.
Tijana [00:11:49 - 00:11:50]: [00:11:49] It keeps you stuck exactly where you are.
Marilynn [00:11:51 - 00:11:52]: [00:11:51] It makes things way worse.
Tijana [00:11:52 - 00:12:04]: [00:11:52] Exactly. [00:11:53] It's not you living in la-la land and having toxic positivity. [00:11:55] Like, well, everything's fantastic and I have tons of time. [00:11:57] No, that doesn't matter. [00:11:59] That's not you. [00:11:59] So this is what a growth mindset looks like. [00:12:01] Yeah, this is hard, but what do I have control over?
Marilynn [00:12:04 - 00:12:05]: [00:12:04] Mm-hmm.
Tijana [00:12:05 - 00:12:43]: [00:12:05] Oh man, this is definitely a different season. [00:12:07] What's my plan gonna look like in this season? [00:12:10] Or what's the smallest version of my routine that I can hang onto right now? [00:12:15] My routine's my North Star. [00:12:16] What can I do from that? [00:12:18] What's still possible for me? [00:12:20] And often you'll, you'll find that like, there's always something. [00:12:22] And a perfect example is during COVID Like, look, I can think a lot of the time, like, I love the gym. [00:12:27] And I remember then being devastated because I'd just gotten back to the gym, 'cause I was 6 weeks postpartum. [00:12:33] And the first thing I said was, I'm not a fan of these little dinky home workouts with body weight, no offense, but I could do it. [00:12:40] I can do it at the best of my ability. [00:12:41] Heck, I can do it with like my kids on my back.
Tijana [00:12:43 - 00:13:05]: [00:12:43] Like I can, I was doing the best I can. [00:12:45] It's not one-on-one with a gym workout, but like, it's what I had. [00:12:49] Or if you're in a situation where there's no, you better believe I was prioritizing my nutrition. [00:12:53] It doesn't make sense to be like, well, now that there's no gym, I'm also gonna eat like crap. [00:12:57] No. [00:12:58] In most situations, you often have control over either nutrition or your training, so you double down on one of those things. [00:13:04] Do you guys have anything to add there?
Adapting to Seasons and Building Resilience
Jordanna [00:13:06 - 00:13:37]: [00:13:06] I would just add that this is why I love working with clients for at least a year, and I think why our clients stay with us for so long, because yes, every season presents a different reason why you might fall off of your Well-established routine. [00:13:23] And so how you navigate summer might look very different from how you navigate the holidays. [00:13:27] There might have commonalities, but they're different. [00:13:31] And how you might navigate going through a divorce might look different than when you're having a baby.Tijana [00:13:37 - 00:13:37]: [00:13:37] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:13:37 - 00:13:52]: [00:13:37] And the support that you need and the way you need to think about those seasons are going to be different. [00:13:42] So I just, you know, love to make sure that you're zooming out and looking at your season as a much longer timeframe because I think people tend to look at it these like couple of weeks.
Tijana [00:13:52 - 00:13:52]: [00:13:52] Mm-hmm.
Jordanna [00:13:52 - 00:13:54]: [00:13:52] And it's usually more like months.
Marilynn [00:13:54 - 00:13:54]: [00:13:54] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:13:55 - 00:13:56]: [00:13:55] If not longer sometimes.
Tijana [00:13:56 - 00:13:57]: [00:13:56] Such a good point.
Marilynn [00:13:57 - 00:14:03]: [00:13:57] If you think about it, um, I always tell my clients, for better or for worse, you get really good at what you do over and over and over again.
Tijana [00:14:03 - 00:14:03]: [00:14:03] Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:14:03 - 00:14:23]: [00:14:03] So if you've been in this, this kind of, let's just say like mindset where you're only focusing on the negative, you're dwelling on the things you can't control, your brain is very good at finding those things and holding on. [00:14:15] Drives me nuts. [00:14:15] So, just to your point, Jord, about kind of, you know, understanding that this is not a one and done. [00:14:19] Like you don't go through one experience and be like, all right, like now I know how to handle it all.
Tijana [00:14:24 - 00:14:24]: [00:14:24] I'm done.
Marilynn [00:14:24 - 00:14:46]: [00:14:24] You've gotta put this into practice and quite literally rewire your brain because every time you do this, this like growth mindset, these positive, um, choices for yourself, you're creating evidence that I'm a woman who follows through. [00:14:38] I'm a woman who can survive this hard season. [00:14:41] That's the evidence you have to keep feeding your brain. [00:14:43] And it doesn't happen once or twice. [00:14:45] It's, it's repeated.
Tijana [00:14:46 - 00:15:10]: [00:14:46] That was such an excellent point, Jord, about getting coaching for an extended period because people think my schedule's just perfectly clear and if everything goes according to plan and I don't have any travel, yeah, I'm gonna get back on track. [00:14:57] And then everything, life doesn't happen in a vacuum. [00:14:59] Like you have to actually learn to adapt it. [00:15:00] I actually had a client who, uh, it was a small thing, but she was like, oh, I, I'm going away this weekend, remember? [00:15:05] And then, and then I'll, be consistent. [00:15:07] I'm like, well, you're still gonna be consistent while you're away. [00:15:09] I just wanna reframe that.
Marilynn [00:15:10 - 00:15:11]: [00:15:10] It's gonna look different. [00:15:11] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:15:11 - 00:15:11]: [00:15:11] Yeah.
Tijana [00:15:11 - 00:15:31]: [00:15:11] She, she didn't mean she was gonna totally like shit the bed, but like, no, no, no. [00:15:15] She meant like, I'm gonna like lock in. [00:15:17] I'm like, no, no, no. [00:15:18] But there's always a semblance. [00:15:20] Like, and I, and I left a voice note to our community actually yesterday in the chat and I had some tough love and I was like, you should never abandon ever, ever. [00:15:26] Like, it's just who you are. [00:15:27] It's your routine. [00:15:28] And there should never be like a 2 versions of yourself in that regard.
Tijana [00:15:32 - 00:16:05]: [00:15:32] Just your acting as your 2.0. [00:15:35] And that's actually what I wanna talk about too, is like what your 2.0 would be doing versus your 1.0. [00:15:40] Because you have to understand too, and I heard this analogy that when you're used to living in the basement, you can't even visualize the penthouse. [00:15:46] So if you've never actually acted accordingly with what your 2.0 is like, the first step is to actually identify what that looks like, and then you have to start thinking that way. [00:15:54] So, you know, your 2.0 has that growth mindset. [00:15:57] So this means that you are treating a lifestyle disruption as Data. [00:16:01] It's not a catastrophe. [00:16:02] You're staying focused on what's in your control versus what isn't.
Tijana [00:16:05 - 00:16:27]: [00:16:05] And you keep your identity as someone who keeps going, that it's just who you are. [00:16:10] It's just what you do. [00:16:10] It's just how you operate. [00:16:12] And you know, when we look at it this way, like your 1.0 self is gonna treat any disruption as like you're a failure and you're gonna drop everything and you're just gonna be in a victim mindset. [00:16:21] You're gonna be like, woe is me. [00:16:22] And, uh, I just need to wait until things die down. [00:16:24] You're gonna tell yourself these stories. [00:16:26] You're gonna believe your stories.
Tijana [00:16:27 - 00:16:45]: [00:16:27] Your 1.0 is keeping you in these stories that are not serving you, but your 2.0 is just saying, such is life. [00:16:34] I mean, it's not easy. [00:16:35] You know, let's say, hey, I'm breaking up with my partner. [00:16:37] I'm going through this. [00:16:38] That sucks. [00:16:39] But heck, I got this one thing in my control. [00:16:42] It's the reframe. [00:16:44] And you scale down, but you keep moving.
Tijana [00:16:46 - 00:16:49]: [00:16:46] I always say sometimes we have our foot on the gas, sometimes we're crawling, but we're still moving.
Marilynn [00:16:49 - 00:16:49]: [00:16:49] That's right.
Tijana [00:16:49 - 00:16:53]: [00:16:49] Your 1.0 self thinks that she's the exception when life happens.
Jordanna [00:16:53 - 00:16:54]: [00:16:53] Poof.
Tijana [00:16:54 - 00:16:59]: [00:16:54] Yeah. [00:16:54] It's, it's funny when people are like, damn, I was doing so good. [00:16:56] And then I'm like, congratulations, you're human.
Marilynn [00:16:59 - 00:17:00]: [00:16:59] I was just gonna say, that's literally life.
Tijana [00:17:01 - 00:17:01]: [00:17:01] I think 8 billion of us.
Marilynn [00:17:01 - 00:17:02]: [00:17:01] Yeah.
Tijana [00:17:02 - 00:17:14]: [00:17:02] It's not if, it's when. [00:17:03] And whenever a client has a difficult experience of like, you know, I went away and things didn't go according to plan, or I had all these intentions, this happened. [00:17:10] I'm like, congratulations. [00:17:11] It's your first opportunity to do reflection on what worked and what didn't.
Marilynn [00:17:14 - 00:17:15]: [00:17:14] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:17:15 - 00:17:18]: [00:17:15] And have the playbook for how you would wanna do it differently next time.
Marilynn [00:17:18 - 00:17:19]: [00:17:18] That's right.
Breaking the Cycle and Elevating to 2.0
Tijana [00:17:19 - 00:17:41]: [00:17:19] Exactly. [00:17:19] And I think a lot of the time, if you're listening to this and you're our client, last thing you wanna do is, we talked about the shame spiral in a previous episode, but you never wanna ghost and get in the mindset of, well, because I wasn't perfect, I'm just not gonna show up. [00:17:29] That doesn't make any sense. [00:17:30] Like the part about you not being perfect is exactly why you wanna be showing up. [00:17:34] Your 1.0 abandons the goal because the plan has changed, but your 2.0 knows the plan was always gonna change.Jordanna [00:17:42 - 00:17:42]: [00:17:42] Yeah.
Tijana [00:17:42 - 00:18:13]: [00:17:42] Your plan is dynamic and this is exactly applicable to, again, the ladies in our coaching program. [00:17:46] People think that going into it, they're like, okay, you just gimme the plan. [00:17:50] And if it was just the plan, go on ChatGPT, you can get something Yeah. [00:17:53] Half decent maybe, but it's actually course correcting that to fit your life, right? [00:17:57] So what looks good on paper might not work for your body or your lifestyle at any given moment. [00:18:02] And that's the journey. [00:18:03] The journey is how you evolve with your mindset. [00:18:06] And this is exactly what your transformation's about. [00:18:08] Yes, you're gonna get lean and sculpted and you build muscle and lose fat, but in the process of that, you have to evolve mentally.
Tijana [00:18:14 - 00:18:35]: [00:18:14] You have to evolve how you operate. [00:18:16] You have to catch yourself acting as the victim and reframe that immediately. [00:18:19] And the more you do it consciously in the moment, the more it will just come naturally and it's just gonna be who you are. [00:18:25] So I actually have a question for you ladies. [00:18:27] What's something that used to feel like a complete derailment for you that you now know how to navigate without losing yourself? [00:18:34] I know you got a lot to say.
Jordanna [00:18:36 - 00:18:41]: [00:18:36] An injury for sure. [00:18:37] I'm gonna just leave it at that. [00:18:38] Like I already touched on, but yeah, injuries, 100%.
Tijana [00:18:41 - 00:18:43]: [00:18:41] What would you do in the past?
Jordanna [00:18:43 - 00:18:57]: [00:18:43] Oh, I'd be like, woe is me. [00:18:45] This sucks. [00:18:46] Like, ugh. [00:18:48] You know, victim mentality, like now another thing, and I would eat and just give into the moment and—
Marilynn [00:18:57 - 00:18:57]: [00:18:57] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:18:58 - 00:19:35]: [00:18:58] Literally derail myself and go backwards by multiple steps, only to then take longer to actually recover as opposed to staying focused, doing what I can in that moment, and getting the appropriate support, whether that be like a physio or a doctor or Working more closely with my coach, adjusting training, like what I said at the beginning of the episode about my broken toe, like, right. [00:19:23] In the past, I would've just sat on my butt like a potato and been like, meh, I'll just start again when, you know, the toe's not broken. [00:19:30] But like, the toe is such a tiny bone in my entire body. [00:19:34] There's so much more I can do.
Perfectionism and Consistency
Marilynn [00:19:36 - 00:19:36]: [00:19:36] Yeah.Tijana [00:19:36 - 00:19:37]: [00:19:36] Yeah.
Marilynn [00:19:37 - 00:20:01]: [00:19:37] For me, I'm honestly gonna say everything, cuz I was the queen of starting and stopping, whether it was like Travel, a holiday, like I have a really busy family, a family event, like work, everything was a reason to stop because I couldn't do my perfect plan. [00:19:51] Now I preface this with, I am a recovering perfectionist. [00:19:54] I am still working on it, but I really was like in the thick of it has to be perfect or I can't do it. [00:19:59] So for me, there was no in between.
Tijana [00:20:01 - 00:20:01]: [00:20:01] Yeah.
Marilynn [00:20:01 - 00:20:31]: [00:20:01] And that's why I really, really try to continue living and teaching our clients, adjust, don't abandon, because it was so much harder every time. [00:20:09] And then. [00:20:10] The mental piece of feeling like I failed and the guilt and the, oh my God, I have to start again. [00:20:15] Like it just wasn't real, right? [00:20:16] So like to actually think that my calendar would clear up, like if it hasn't up until now, what makes me think it's going to? [00:20:22] That's the other thing, right? [00:20:23] Think of your life over the last whatever many years. [00:20:26] If it's been chaos and one thing after another, that is literally your life. [00:20:30] You gotta work with that.
The Power of Coaching and Mindset Support
Tijana [00:20:32 - 00:21:00]: [00:20:32] Absolutely. [00:20:33] Um, and if you're listening to this and you're like, oh my gosh, I can relate to exactly what you ladies are talking about, I can see how I'm I wanna elevate to my 2.0 and I wanna keep raising the bar. [00:20:42] I just don't know how to do it. [00:20:44] This is exactly what we do, and you don't have to do it alone. [00:20:46] That's the thing. [00:20:46] If information were enough and just the will to do it were enough, then we'd all be walking around exactly where we wanna be. [00:20:51] But we're not meant to do this in isolation. [00:20:54] And this is a huge part of what we do with our clients is not just the tactics and yes, it's the fitness and the nutrition and, and all that as well.Tijana [00:21:00 - 00:21:04]: [00:21:00] You need that, but it's also how to navigate the mindset shifts that come with elevating to your 2.0.
Marilynn [00:21:04 - 00:21:04]: [00:21:04] Definitely.
Tijana [00:21:05 - 00:21:31]: [00:21:05] If you want a coach who helps you adapt your plan and not abandon yourself, and the right dynamic lifestyle here, not, not just someone who's gonna give you the marching orders. [00:21:14] This is exactly what we do at Get Sculpted. [00:21:17] So we would love to have you apply to work with us, get to know your situation, and chat through what a game plan would look like here. [00:21:24] So our application is getsculpted.ca/contact. [00:21:28] Fill that out and let's get you outta the pattern of self-abandonment for good.
The Playbook: Separate Your Goal from the Plan
Marilynn [00:21:31 - 00:21:32]: [00:21:31] Definitely.Tijana [00:21:33 - 00:21:40]: [00:21:33] Mare. [00:21:33] Okay, so we've named the pattern. [00:21:35] We've named the mindset. [00:21:36] Now let's talk about the actual playbook and what actually needs to change.
Marilynn [00:21:41 - 00:22:13]: [00:21:41] For sure. [00:21:41] So I hope everybody at this point has taken out that like life is chaos for everybody, but there's always gonna be a version of your plan that fits the season of life you're in. [00:21:51] And the other very real piece is that it's not gonna look like the version when life is calm. [00:21:57] And in some cases, like we've given some examples of what we've done, it might even feel like you're doing less. [00:22:02] But you're still moving forward. [00:22:04] And most of all, it's helping keep that relationship and commitment to yourself intact versus the opposite, which is like, I've completely abandoned myself.
Tijana [00:22:13 - 00:22:14]: [00:22:13] Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:22:14 - 00:22:40]: [00:22:14] But before we get into the playbook, there is a mindset shift that has to happen. [00:22:19] You have to separate your goal from the plan. [00:22:22] I actually think, T, you said this once before a call podcast episode, but it's stuck with me. [00:22:27] Think of your goal as the destination. [00:22:29] And your plan is the route. [00:22:30] Like you've said, you can change the route. [00:22:32] Like think about if you're driving somewhere, you can take different routes to get to the destination, but that destination is still where you're going, right? [00:22:38] Like you're not gonna be like, eh, I'm not gonna go there today. [00:22:40] I'm gonna go somewhere else.
Tijana [00:22:40 - 00:22:41]: [00:22:40] Let's not go there anymore.
Marilynn [00:22:41 - 00:23:08]: [00:22:41] Right? [00:22:42] Like routes change, destinations don't. [00:22:44] So the moment that life does its thing, the question isn't like, how do I get back to my plan? [00:22:49] It's what does the version of my plan look like for the season I'm in? [00:22:52] So that's what we wanna, wanna talk about next. [00:22:55] First thing is you have to define the minimum version of your plan. [00:22:59] So, we call these our BAMs or our bare-ass minimums, but essentially this is like, what is literally the bare-ass minimum I am gonna commit to when shit hits the fan?
Jordanna [00:23:08 - 00:23:08]: [00:23:08] Okay?
The Bare-Ass Minimums (BAMs)
Marilynn [00:23:09 - 00:23:24]: [00:23:09] And even though it might feel like less than you normally do, it still counts. [00:23:12] So, I mean, we could give you millions of examples truly, but like, think of it, you know, if you can't do a 60-minute workout, can you do 20 minutes? [00:23:19] If you broke your toe and you can't do lower body, can you do upper body? [00:23:22] Like, that's how you have to start framing things.Tijana [00:23:24 - 00:23:24]: [00:23:24] Yeah.
Marilynn [00:23:25 - 00:23:45]: [00:23:25] You know, think of your minimum version as the floor, but also remember you can't live at like 1,000%, like up at that ceiling all the time. [00:23:33] That's perfectionism and that's like all or nothing. [00:23:35] So that's the first one, define that minimum version. [00:23:38] The second thing, and we've touched on this, but like really get real about what is in your control versus out of your control.
Tijana [00:23:45 - 00:23:45]: [00:23:45] So true.
Focus on What You Can Control
Marilynn [00:23:46 - 00:24:18]: [00:23:46] Our default, as we've talked about, is to think about all the things we cannot control. [00:23:50] Oh my gosh, I can't do this and I can't do that. [00:23:52] But if you actually sit down and look at the list of what's in your control, it is far longer than the narrative your brain is gonna spin about what isn't. [00:24:01] That is where your focus needs to go. [00:24:03] Take a deep breath. [00:24:04] You can hold space for the fact that hard things are happening, but don't live there. [00:24:08] The third thing, communicate the season of change to yourself out loud. [00:24:12] I know this sounds a little cuckoo, but like my therapist has actually had me do this where you actually name it out loud.
Name Your Season and Adjust
Marilynn [00:24:18 - 00:24:40]: [00:24:18] Right? [00:24:18] And this can be for your emotions. [00:24:20] This can actually apply to a lot of different things, but for what we're talking about, just say to yourself, I'm in a hard month right now. [00:24:26] It's okay for my plan to look different. [00:24:28] You're almost like creating that distance between what's happening and like yourself so you can see it a bit more clearly. [00:24:35] The 4th one, which I have said, and I will say a million times over, adjust, don't abandon, right?Tijana [00:24:40 - 00:24:40]: [00:24:40] Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:24:41 - 00:25:00]: [00:24:41] The instinct when life gets hard is drop it all. [00:24:44] Like go through it and then maybe start again when that's done. [00:24:47] But that doesn't work, right? [00:24:48] Keep your habits alive. [00:24:50] Even like 20% of your 100% is still going to have impact. [00:24:56] There's that saying, right? [00:24:56] Like if you have 40% to give and you give 40%, you're still giving 100%.
Tijana [00:25:00 - 00:25:01]: [00:25:00] Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:25:01 - 00:25:25]: [00:25:01] So figure out what your 100% is in that season of life. [00:25:04] Protect it because that is still building that 2.0 identity. [00:25:08] And that is what's gonna get you through. [00:25:10] 'Cause you have to think like, The hard time that you're going through, it will be over. [00:25:14] Like, that's the thing. [00:25:15] These states don't last forever. [00:25:17] There was this saying, and I'm gonna butcher it, but it was like, the good news is like nothing lasts forever, but the bad news is nothing lasts forever. [00:25:23] So ebb and flow is part of life.
Building Resilience Through Adversity
Tijana [00:25:25 - 00:25:25]: [00:25:25] That's a good one.Marilynn [00:25:26 - 00:25:27]: [00:25:26] Right? [00:25:26] So you have to adjust.
Jordanna [00:25:28 - 00:25:30]: [00:25:28] And here's the other thing, if I could just add in.
Tijana [00:25:30 - 00:25:30]: [00:25:30] Yeah.
Marilynn [00:25:30 - 00:25:31]: [00:25:30] Yeah. [00:25:30] Yeah. [00:25:30] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:25:31 - 00:25:41]: [00:25:31] You are building resilience in that timeframe. [00:25:33] Mm-hmm. [00:25:33] When you adjust and not abandon, you're actually building that resiliency muscle, which is going to make you Stronger and more capable.
Marilynn [00:25:41 - 00:25:41]: [00:25:41] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:25:41 - 00:25:52]: [00:25:41] And so, the next time life hits the fan, you are more capable. [00:25:45] A more capable version of yourself is showing up to that scenario, which will allow you to take better care of yourself over time.
Marilynn [00:25:52 - 00:25:52]: [00:25:52] Yeah.
Jordanna [00:25:52 - 00:26:01]: [00:25:52] And so, you're not dropping down to the first bare minimum you've set. [00:25:57] Maybe your new bare minimum in a future scenario is actually a little bit higher than it was. Tijana [00:26:02 - 00:26:02]: [00:26:02] Raising the floor.
Jordanna [00:26:02 - 00:26:09]: [00:26:02] Yeah, you're raising the floor. [00:26:04] And so, think of each time you're going through these challenges as an opportunity to raise that floor over time.
The Value of Coaching for Mindset and Accountability
Marilynn [00:26:09 - 00:26:10]: [00:26:09] Such a good point.Tijana [00:26:10 - 00:26:36]: [00:26:10] Yeah, that's so true. [00:26:11] And as we're talking, again, we've said it before, but this is exactly why having a coach is so key. [00:26:16] And people think, oh, it's, you know, just, it's not the tactics. [00:26:19] Like, how are you gonna be able to navigate these mindset shifts and breakthroughs when you've never actually been there? [00:26:25] When you're repeatedly in these patterns keeping you stuck? [00:26:28] And this is why I have a coach myself. [00:26:30] And I know we are huge proponents because you're never done. [00:26:33] There's always more evolution and you see yourself differently than other people see you.
Jordanna [00:26:37 - 00:26:38]: [00:26:37] And these are the conversations that happen in check-ins.
Marilynn [00:26:39 - 00:26:39]: [00:26:39] That's right.
Tijana [00:26:39 - 00:26:42]: [00:26:39] Exactly. [00:26:40] It's a lot less about like, did you hit your macros or didn't you?
Stop Punishing Yourself for Tough Seasons
Marilynn [00:26:42 - 00:27:14]: [00:26:42] Yeah, exactly. [00:26:43] Kind of further to that, when you are going through something, sometimes it is really hard to see anything else. [00:26:49] So that's what having a coach, for me, that's always been the big game changer. [00:26:52] It really helps me zoom out and have some perspective. [00:26:55] All right, 5th one, stop punishing yourself for the season you're going through. [00:27:00] This is not the time to feel guilty, to feel shameful. [00:27:03] Or, you know, to tell yourself, oh my God, I should be doing so much more than I'm doing right now. [00:27:07] Self-criticism when you're going through a hard season of life is just adding another layer of stress on top of the actual thing that's stressing you out.
Hold the Line and Get Support
Marilynn [00:27:15 - 00:27:32]: [00:27:15] So the goal is to just hold the line until the storm passes. [00:27:19] If you can do that, then when whatever you're going through ends, you just keep going. [00:27:24] And T, you said it, it's like you can put your foot on the gas a little bit more, or you can like idle, right? [00:27:29] Like, but you still wanna keep going to that destination you're moving to.Tijana [00:27:32 - 00:27:32]: [00:27:32] Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:27:33 - 00:27:35]: [00:27:33] And the last one, get help when you need it.
Tijana [00:27:35 - 00:27:36]: [00:27:35] Okay?
Marilynn [00:27:36 - 00:28:02]: [00:27:36] We've talked about it. [00:27:37] Therapists, doctors, friends, family, a coach. [00:27:40] Hard seasons are when a lot of women double down on saying they're gonna do it alone and I'm gonna get through this and I just, I, I just need to do this first and then no, no, no. [00:27:48] The thing that's gonna help you is reaching out and getting support. [00:27:52] That is a strength and a strategy. [00:27:54] It is not a weakness. [00:27:55] You do not need to figure this out by yourself. [00:27:57] And we've seen most women don't figure it out by themselves, which is why we do what we do.
Closing Thoughts: Show Up at Every Percentage
Marilynn [00:28:03 - 00:28:05]: [00:28:03] Anything you girls would add to any of those?Tijana [00:28:05 - 00:28:05]: [00:28:05] We got it.
Jordanna [00:28:06 - 00:28:06]: [00:28:06] Nailed it.
Marilynn [00:28:07 - 00:28:35]: [00:28:07] So to close this episode, we want you to remember life is always gonna happen. [00:28:11] It's literally life, the injury, the sick kid, the work, the partner, all of those things. [00:28:15] But none of it is a sign that you are not capable of moving through it. [00:28:19] The cost of giving up on yourself when life hits isn't about the time you take away from your routine and goals. [00:28:25] It's actually what it keeps teaching you. [00:28:27] About the woman that you are. [00:28:28] The women who break this cycle aren't the ones whose lives are easy and stress-free. [00:28:32] I'd like to meet that woman if she exists, the one who has the easy stress-free life.
Marilynn [00:28:36 - 00:29:14]: [00:28:36] But the women who succeed are the ones who stop expecting perfection and adjust their plan to the season of life that they're in. [00:28:42] They refuse to abandon themselves no matter how hard it gets. [00:28:45] And believe it or not, the hardest part about adapting isn't actually adapting. [00:28:49] It's giving up this facade that you are going to get to this like This perfect paradise where everything calms down and everything is easy, that moment is not coming. [00:29:00] There are just different seasons of life. [00:29:02] So the version of you who keeps her promises to herself isn't waiting on the other side of an easier life. [00:29:06] She's being built right now in this season with whatever you have. [00:29:11] So show up at 10%, 20%, 30%, whatever you have.
Marilynn [00:29:14 - 00:29:43]: [00:29:14] Hold the bare minimums. [00:29:15] Don't disappear. [00:29:16] Lean in for support because that is what is gonna make it so you're not the woman who keeps restarting. [00:29:22] You're gonna be the woman who never actually leaves. [00:29:25] And if you know that you need support and someone in your corner for these hard seasons, not just when life is easy, that is exactly what we help with. [00:29:32] We don't coach you when life cooperates only. [00:29:35] We're gonna coach you through all of it, absolutely all of it. [00:29:38] And we help build plans that actually fit your real life, and we hold you accountable so that way you don't abandon yourself.
Marilynn [00:29:44 - 00:30:02]: [00:29:44] So if you wanna stop restarting and you wanna become that woman who keeps showing up, We have some coaching spots opening up. [00:29:51] You can fill out an application at getsculpted.ca/contact and let us help you stop disappearing on yourself. [00:29:57] As always, thank you so much for listening, and we will chat with you next week on the Get Sculpted podcast.