Training hard and still stuck? Learn how rest and recovery help women break a weight loss plateau and build muscle with a plan that fits your life on this episode of the Get Sculpted podcast.
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You trained four days this week, your food was on point, and the scale still won’t move, so the voice in your head says to add a workout or tighten things up a little more. This episode takes that instinct apart. Rest and recovery get treated as a bonus for the weeks that go smoothly, and for a woman already carrying a full life, that leaves her body with no time to do the repair work that builds muscle.
Marilynn, Jordanna, and Tijana walk through what chronic stress does to your body, from your sleep and hunger to your menstrual cycle and thyroid, and why a stalled weight loss plateau so often comes from under-recovering. Then they get into why slowing down feels so uncomfortable, which comes down to the 1.0 version of you versus the 2.0 version, and they hand over a playbook for building rest into a week that’s already full.
Here's what’s covered:
Why living in fight-or-flight keeps your body from repairing itself, and what that means for your heart rate and your ability to build muscle
How a workout, a work email, an aging parent, and the mental load of a household all fill the same barrel, which is how you end up overtrained on a normal amount of training
The overtraining signs worth catching early: a resting heart rate that won’t come down, a weighted-vest heaviness, no zest for training, nagging injuries, weight regain, and a cycle that goes missing
What chronic stress does to your hunger, cravings, sleep, and thyroid, and why a 5 AM fasted HIIT routine can leave you with a soft middle
Why sleep decides how well you build muscle, and the rest day when the scale drops because you slept in
How to lighten your load without dropping everything, starting with Jordanna’s care meter and Tijana’s 80 percent dinner that still fed everybody
Why women reach for more when results slow down, and why the fitness and corporate worlds rarely tell anyone to do less
Why resting brings up guilt, including Jordanna’s burnout at the tail end of her corporate career, and why a manicure leaves you with great nails and the same exhaustion
A rest and recovery playbook that starts with putting rest on the calendar in red, even if the block lasts 15 minutes
What counts as real rest, from a quiet bath and box breathing to a slow walk and the five senses, and how to protect that time with a no that needs no explanation
If women’s strength training is already part of your week and you still feel guilty the second you sit down, this episode was recorded with you in mind. It also fits if a stalled weight loss plateau has you reaching for another workout, or if your motivation has been draining for months and you’re wondering whether fitness burnout is next.
"Rest that isn’t scheduled is rest that doesn’t happen." - Coach Jordanna
If you fill every open block on your calendar with a task, or you schedule rest and then let something else take its spot, the coaches build recovery into your plan so you don't skip it. Head to getsculpted.ca/contact and tell them where you’re at.
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This podcast is brought to you in partnership with Leah Bryant Co.
The unedited transcript for this episode of the Get Sculpted podcast follows:
And for many of us, that idea feels so wrong. You might even feel like you're being lazy or that you'll fall behind if you take that time. But the research, the physiology, and also our coaching experience, the three of us point to the same thing, which is rest is the real work. It's not the pause between the real work. It is the actual work itself. The problem is we've been sold a version of progress that only rewards effort that you can see. So when you get your workouts done, when you prep your meals, when you hit your steps, but what about the fact that all of you are also carrying a full workload? You're running a household. You're also holding the emotional load of every single person around you.
And let's be honest, you make decisions from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed, but none of that gets counted. And all of this is pulling from the same tank. So that's why this is the missing piece in the fitness puzzle that we wanna talk about today, because you are overextended, whether it's your fitness or all the other things in your life. It lands in the same nervous system. So, until you build recovery into the whole picture, you're going to keep spinning your wheels no matter how hard you push. So, that's what we're getting into today. We're going to get into what actually happens in your body when you are chronically overextending yourself, specifically what this does to your hormones, fat loss, and sleep. And we're also going to talk about why doing less feels so dang uncomfortable, right? Because there's an identity you're carrying underneath.
And we're gonna close things off by sharing how to actually build real rest and recovery into your life in a way that fits. All right, so ladies, are you ready?
Tijana [00:02:19]: Love it. Let's do this.
Jordanna [00:02:20]: This is so perfect coming off the heels of, at the time of this recording, we just had our retreat, which was exactly what we needed. And I remember, Mary, you saying, oh, the next episode we record is all about this. And I was reading it and I'm like, yeah, this is what we need. Comes so right. What we needed and what you need. Yes, exactly.
Marilynn [00:02:35]: Yeah, that's right. That's right. I love that. Okay, well, to kick us off, tell us what, what actually happens in our bodies when we don't give it time to recover the way it needs.
The Impact of Chronic Overextension on Your Body
Jordanna [00:02:42]: Yeah. So I wanna preface by saying like, I'm sure a lot of the ladies that we work with that are listening to this and, and myself can relate to being a go-getter and just wanting to go all out in all the things you do, like not half-assing, giving your full ass, right? Like, which is great. And I love that. And I talk about this so extensively in my therapy and all that. But, uh, I share that because sometimes just the act of slowing down and resting and not doing can feel lazy and it can feel inefficient and that's not good. And I don't like lazy, I don't like inefficient. But how I frame it for myself in my mind that thinks that way is that the rest, the recovery, and the slowing down are part of that process. It's part of you getting to be better and fitter and leaner and hotter and smarter and all the things like just growing as a person. That has to be a part of it.It's not a bell and whistle. So what's gonna really be helpful is if we kick off by starting with what actually happens in the body, because here's what's going on when you're going full tilt. And you're doing it all because once you understand that, you're gonna see rest as something that's not optional. So your nervous system has 2 settings. Number one is sympathetic mode. So this is your fight or flight. So this is when you would be chased by saber-toothed tiger, but in our modern day, it's getting an email that spikes up your heart rate, right? Honestly, yeah, it's, it's how we're conditioned. So, you know, stress is coming at us left, right, and center. Not all of it is bad stress, right? It's just part of life, but in the life you live, this is the mode that you could be living on. Parasympathetic mode is the opposite. So, this is rest and repair. So, this is when your heart rate slows down, your heart rate variability improves. My Oura Ring ladies, you know, we're all tracking those stats, and the body can actually do the repair. That's quite literally what building muscle is.
But, like I just said, most modern women right now, most modern people are living in the sympathetic in their regular lives, and it's too much of an imbalance, right? We don't wanna be in either of these modes all the time. We need some of that hustle, but that has gotten to the point where like work is stressful, we're all always on our phones, always on social media. I actually saw this meme that was like, I needed just to take a break from my kids at the end of the night. And then I was scrolling and it just gave me like 20 reasons why I'm a bad parent. It's like, oh, this was worse. You feel worse. So this is why you need to be very intentional with putting yourself in a parasympathetic state. Okay? It doesn't just happen just like building your dream body. Oh, I hope I wake up one day with that body. Well, it doesn't work like that. And this is not just a matter of like, okay, well I have a 5-minute buffer between meetings.
That's like the bare minimum. You should have that anyway. You should have that. Exactly. Because here's the thing, your body can't distinguish the different types of stress. For example, like training is fantastic. Like you're listening to this podcast and you know, we are all about strength training and challenging yourself for that matter. But your body doesn't know the difference between like its cumulative load, right? Like the stress of a workout, then an email, then argument with your partner, difficult decision, emotional conversation. This is all just part of that barrel, right? If you picture a barrel and you're adding things to it, it's all these things that are making it heavier. And this is why you can't judge a book by its cover.
You might look at someone and think, oh, how do they do it all? Or how do they train so much? They could be living a totally different life than you. You're training four days a week, let's say average, pretty good. But okay, you're running a business, you're managing a household, your parents are aging and you're caring for them, and you're taking the mental load in your household. And, and maybe like the household duties too, which a lot of women are. And then this can actually make you functionally overtrained without actually training too much. And then, you know, in this instance, this is where it's nuanced and why like an actual plan for you is so important is because in this person's instance, I wouldn't say, well, let's just not train then. 'Cause that's what a lot of women think. They're like, let me just keep all these other things.
You need like an audit of the things that are in your barrel. So the physical training might be fine, but the total stress is like what we need to look at. So rest and recovery needs to be built in. Yeah. Not just training more. And, and we see this a lot. Do you girls have anything to add to that that comes to mind so far?
Tijana [00:06:28]: I would just say, like, I just had this conversation with a client not two weeks ago, and she was like, I don't know how to put all these pieces together because none of these elements that are in her barrel can be dropped or pulled out or taken away. And sometimes I think it's also our perspective or outlook towards them and/or our effort level towards them.
And so, an analogy that I love that I use a lot that my therapist taught me was like, think of like how much you care as like your care meter. It's like a dial, and how much you care can sometimes be reflective of how stressed you are about certain things. Because you care so much about your performance at work, that email that comes through at, you know, 8 o'clock at night stresses you out because you wanna perform at a high level. The activities that you're driving your children to, you don't wanna be late, so you're stressed about the traffic, but it's because you want them to have this enjoyable, like, hockey experience. It all comes back to like how we care and our perception to it. And so the conversation wasn't, what are you gonna drop? It's how do we care just a little bit less so that you are not bringing like that stressed feeling to every little single thing so that we can determine how we then rebalance the stress levels. And so it was like literally a light bulb went off for her and she was like, oh. Okay, now I know how to think about this because none of us can really drop half the things that we're doing.
It's very difficult to be able to just say, I'm not doing that anymore. No, no, not drop it. Less stress, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Marilynn [00:07:58]: It's like that 100% too, right? It's exact same principle. It's like, what is the 100% that you're giving to every single thing you have to do? It's not the same 100%. It's not. Right. And it's the exact same concept as what you just described, Jordan. But one thing I will say to be a bit of a pain in the, you know what, is I also think that sometimes there are things we can drop and we give everything equal importance. And that's actually a conversation I had with my therapist when she said, I hate to break it to you, you don't have to be doing all those things. And it was interesting because she was telling me about, not, she didn't name anybody, but other clients that she works with, moms who are like, I have to take the kids to this and I have to take the kids to the baba.
She was like, I hate being the bearer of bad news. She's like, but your kids don't have to play rep sports. Your kids don't have to do all those things. Like. It's the importance you're placing on it. So again, maybe story for another day, but I think it's a combination of both those things. Like what's the 100%? What is the like actual care meter on it? And maybe what is something you can drop?
How Overtraining (and Under-Recovering) Impacts Progress
Jordanna [00:08:53]: I don't wanna gloss over that. I think that's important. And I just was thinking how like when I'm in my lean out, especially near the end, I just need to round up all my resources to feel my best, you know?And honestly, I always come back to the Kirkland breaded chicken breast because— Shout out Costco. I mean, I say that it's nuggets, it's nuggets. And not that there's anything wrong, but I'm always like— There's nothing wrong with that. No, no, no, no. But you know, like, it's funny because they had Nuggets Monday and then I remember yesterday, I can't remember what I made the kids. It was a very like kind of one of those quick dinners and it was still good. It was like an 80% dinner. And then I thought to myself, like the high standard in me is like, well, the bare minimum is to feed your kids. Come on, do better. But then I'm like, but this is good.
They're fed and it's a balanced meal. This is not something that I'm spending time or energy on, you know? So let's shift it back to a muscle and what it actually takes to like achieve the look that you want. I share this because obviously we're the Get Sculpted podcast and we do recommend you go to therapy for like balancing your emotions and all the rest. But one thing we can talk to you about for sure is like how we're gonna build your body, right? All day. Exactly. So in that context, you need to recover to build muscle, point blank. Period.
Yeah, exactly. Because training, yes, creates the stimulus, it breaks your muscle tissue down, and then in order for you to like be able to repair it, you need recovery, which means like sleep and hydration and nutrition and just intentional rest between your sessions and outside of your sessions. So, I've seen this with clients time and time again, and we've talked about it, and it's worth mentioning here, is that like they see sleep as a bell and whistle. They're like, nah, I'm sleeping like crap, but like, yeah, I'm getting my training in. I'm like, muscle protein synthesis is affected, and like your sleep is not a bell and whistle, and neither is your recovery. So, this is why like when you're doing all the things, and we hear this a lot, the scale's even going up, and you're like, what's happening here? You're like, you're inflamed, you're soft, it's terrible. Yeah. And I've seen it all the time.
It feels like magic, but if the scale is stagnant and I just feel so overworked and tight, sometimes the solution is like, okay, when you haven't trained that day and sleep in and like you have a good poop, the scale just comes down. And then if you're doing that on a regular basis, obviously that's ideally gonna keep things moving. But I share this because this is the very real thing that's happening in your body. Chronic stress is gonna disrupt your hormones, and hormones are your chemical messengers that affect so many processes in the body. So when you're in fight or flight mode for weeks, months, years, Oh my God. Like my middle name was fricking fight or flight. But I used to have these terrible digestive issues, like where I went to like naturopaths and I swear I spent hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars and they were giving me all these supplements. And like, there was actually never anyone that was like, how much are you eating? Like, they're like, oh, you're eating healthy.
But I was like, I'm eating like 1,000 calories. Anyway, all that to say, like, you need to make sure that like you're in rest and digest enough, and that's gonna have a massive impact on your health beyond just the food and the training. So when you're not, Your sleep quality drops. Your recovery's gonna slow from your training. You're always kind of feeling sore and tight, more prone to injury. Something's always nagging you. Your hunger is like way higher. You have those cravings that like are just so hard to shake. Your satiety's reduced. Your menstrual cycles can shift. This always happens to me. Yeah. They can disappear for a while. And your master gland of metabolism, your thyroid, can downregulate. It does downregulate. It's a normal part that's actually expected of like when you're in a lower calorie diet.
Or in a higher stress state. But if it's consistently overstressed, then this is gonna impact you in the long haul, your metabolism, your thyroid, immune function, you're more prone to getting sick. So you could be doing everything right. Like I, I see this all the time from the go-getters. They're waking up at 5:00 AM and doing an intense workout. And this is before they come to us. They're doing it fasted and they're doing HIIT. And then they're like, why do I have a soft and fluffy middle? And it's like, well, because you're chronically stressed and you're waking up.
In a stressed state with no fuel and then stressing your body some more.
Tijana [00:12:32]: And then it's go, go, go. And there's no time to decompress from that at any point in the day.
Marilynn [00:12:37]: Right, exactly. Then you're going straight into your fight or flight and there's never been carbohydrates. That's a whole other thing that we've talked about, but you're just putting yourself in a bad situation. And then, you know, beyond just the actual physical, the brain needs downtime too, right? Your brain is working on overdrive all the time. When you have like rest and slow input, and we experienced this over the weekend, this is when your brain is actually like, it's, it's kind of like doing the, like the debrief I think of, you know?
Jordanna [00:13:01]: Like it's consolidating your memory, it's processing your emotions, solving problems, and this is when you generate creativity. So when you have constant inputs, like you're on your phone, you're on your little screen, then you're on your big screen at work, and then you're watching this, you know, this for entertainment, this is gonna block that network in your brain from actually doing its job. And the boredom that women avoid, and everybody might I add, this is when the brain actually gets to do most of its, uh, most important work.
Tijana [00:13:24]: The reframe for me on this one was resting felt lazy. And so therefore I'm not lazy and I don't want to do it. But when I learned what rest and specifically sleep does, it became productive. I didn't have to do anything to be more productive. And so that reframe kind of tricked myself into being like, oh, sleep is so important because I'm automatically going to get A, B, C, D. Out of that experience and I don't have to do anything more. And so, it was just like this little trick I gave myself that helped me reframe it and be able to prioritize it more at the end of the day. Like whatever you need to tell yourself to make sure that you are gonna get this done, do it.
Jordanna [00:14:08]: Exactly. Well, you might as well think of the benefit and not how you're, you know, lazy. Yeah, 100%.
Why Doing Less Feels So Uncomfortable
Jordanna [00:14:13]: So, I talked about overtraining and, uh, I wanna talk about what that actually looks like. Because more is not better. And I'll say it once, I'll say it a million times. We've all said it. Okay.Marilynn [00:14:22]: Say it again.
Jordanna [00:14:22]: In every episode we should say it like, more is not better. Better is better. That's like saying, oh, training 3 times a week is good and 4 times a week is good. 7 days must be great. No, it's not. When you're overtraining, signs are that you have a consistent elevated resting heart rate. It's not coming down. You're constantly like fatigued.
You know, for me it always feels like everything feels heavy. It feels like I'm wearing like a weighted vest on my body. Weighted blanket. Loss of motivation. Like, I can't put my finger on this, but I always experience, especially if I'm kind of like digging deep in a lean out, is like you just don't have a zest to train. It's like, oh, okay. It feels more like work than something you get to do.
Yeah. You're kind of dreading it. And I mean, not that that never happens, but you know, it's consistently happening. You have increased injuries, you're regaining weight, even like inflammation weight. Your mood's changing, your menstrual cycle could temporarily exit the building. And most women who aren't seeing results but are already working hard, it's not that they're undertraining, they're actually underrecovering. So there's no such thing as overtraining. Whenever anyone's like, how many workouts am I gonna get? I'm like, it depends.
It depends on when we look at your intake. Like people on the first call are like, okay, well, you know, 3 to 4 on average is, you know, right where we wanna be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like the length, the amount of volume, the amount of exercises, there's not a one-size-fits-all. Also, it's like, I'm gonna do your 4 workouts and I'm gonna do like 4 CrossFit. No, you're not. Because that's overtraining.
And most of the time, like, it's, it's not just the training, like, that's gonna move the needle. It's actually everything on top of it or the other direction that's gonna stall you out. So, um, the fix isn't like a harder program and more sweat. You know, everyone's like, oh yeah, I need something harder. Well, no, you need to do what you're doing better and recover from it and like actually get used to not feeling sore and tight and injured all the time.
Tijana [00:16:00]: Exactly.
Jordanna [00:16:01]: When a woman is feeling like stuck or plateaued, why do we think that the instinct is always to add more? Like we always hear that, do I need more workouts? Do I need more cardio?
Marilynn [00:16:09]: I mean, I'm going to talk from personal experience here. It's because like we have been taught that more effort is the answer, right? If something isn't working, think about other areas of your life. If something's not working, it's like, well, do more, push harder, try something different. And for most of us, for me, that narrative had been running for a very long time in my life. And I do think the narrative is louder in fitness because when results slow down, the first thing women do think, and that's why women come to us, is because they're doing more. More workouts, more cardio. They're restricting more food. So I think that's really like the, the line we've been fed.
And then it's like you said, Jord, when we don't do those things, it's like admitting defeat, right? You're lazy. Being an adult and a kid is different, but I remember even as a kid laying down on the couch, my dad would be like, don't be lazy. Get up. Yes. Right? Like it was very much laying down is lazy. Being up and doing stuff. And I remember my mom always being like, Michael, let them just leave them alone. But it was very much ingrained.
So that, that's kind of for me is what it is. We've just been taught that more effort equals better, more productive. What about you, Jor?
Tijana [00:17:09]: I wouldn't change anything that you said. I'd also add another layer is that it's not in most companies', businesses', coaches' best interest to have you do less because they're trying to make money and they're selling something and they have a belief system and what maybe worked for them to get where they are, but they haven't had like the long-term impacts of that yet. And so I think that there's just a lot of things out there that have competing values behind them or belief systems that aren't necessarily in the best interest of that individual. And so by telling them to do less, it's like, well, maybe they don't see the value in the program by doing less. Maybe they don't think I'm giving enough. Maybe I'll ruin something for them. But the truth is, is like you are, and I'm speaking to coaches right now in the industry.
Your value to the client is to deliver something that is going to help them get to the end result in the healthiest, happiest, most enjoyable way for them to be able to maintain it, right? And some, some goals are more aggressive than others that you might not enjoy the whole journey, or what you're learning about yourself might feel hard, but that doesn't mean that it should be unsustainable or serve you more than them. And I think that's like the other lens to it. It's like not always in the interest of who's delivering that solution. And that's not just in fitness, right? That's like in a lot of things.
Marilynn [00:18:36]: I was gonna say, we've been in other industries. It's the same. It's like do more with less. And I always found that very interesting just coming from you, like kind of like corporate world, me from like the education world. I always thought like, don't the powers that be know that like happy, rested people are actually more productive people? Getting better, but it, it was not when I was in that world.
Tijana [00:18:57]: You know what it is? It's they care more about the quarter, the profitability and the performance of the quarter that they're in than the profitability and the performance of the long-term value of the company, for instance. Make the shareholder today happy and we'll figure out how to make the shareholder in 10 years happy then. And it's so short-sighted because if you just took a longer perspective, you could actually work smarter instead of harder.
Building Real Rest and Recovery Into Your Life
Jordanna [00:19:27]: I wanna share the story too of how when we were making the retreat, I just, uh, posted about this. Like we were initially like, okay, we're doing a retreat for all our clients. Of course we're Get Sculpted. We call it the Elevation Experience, all about elevating in your 2.0. And first we were like, okay, great. Like we're gonna challenge people, we're gonna do workouts. And like, then we thought about it and we're like, you know what? What if we leaned in on the part of elevation where the slowing down was the focus? We already are doing the training and the eating and the discipline. That's definitely a part of it. There's no doubt about it. But that was where we needed like the yin and the yang. So we literally experienced that. And that's what ended up, I think, making our retreat so awesome is because it was slowing down.Marilynn [00:19:58]: Such a perfect segue because like you've done the science piece of what happens and now we're exactly talking about this. Like, why does it feel so uncomfortable to do nothing or to rest? Or like, why are we treating it as an afterthought? And I think we as women have to really start to dig into why that is because it does feel wrong. And, and I can say that personally, I have been in that situation where like my body's screaming at me to just stop.
Tijana [00:20:22]: Same.
Marilynn [00:20:23]: And I'm like, nope, nope, I'm gonna keep going. So why does that feel so hard? Right? Like we can physically do it. We can, but it is hard because of who we think it makes us if we take that time. And that's why this is an identity piece. It really is. Most of you listening have kind of like two selves that operate at the same time. Okay? So there's this like 1.0 version of you who, this is the woman you've been for years. This is like that same story, the same narrative.
And then there's this 2.0 version of you, hopefully that we're helping you identify with. And this is the woman you want to become, right? You're trying to be her and do things differently. So I feel like for me, in the case of rest and recovery, it was always like these two identities butting heads.
So the first place this happens is around productivity. And we've kind of talked about this a little bit somewhere along the way, whether it was your family, your job, whatever, being busy became a badge of honor. It was like your moral compass. So this is why like the 1.0 version of you does believe that your worth is tied to your output, how much you got done, how much you were able to check off that to-do list. So if you stop, then your identity feels less valuable because your self-worth is so tied to what you're doing. But let us help you understand that the 2.0 version of you knows that your worth is not tied to what you produce. You can have a day of doing less and, and Jordan, like you said, you can be more productive. On days that you're doing less and you can have more worth than the days when you're just like grinding and hustling.
So the 2.0 version of you doesn't have to justify rest by like rhyming off all the things you accomplish. So that's the first thing, the productivity piece. You're not unproductive if you rest and recover. Hopefully we've helped you understand you can be way more productive. The second piece is guilt. This is like huge. Okay. I have had clients say to me like, I feel guilty if I do this because I'm not doing this for my family, or I feel guilty if I do this because like there's deadlines.
So again, that 1.0 version feels guilty because there's a voice inside your head saying like, you have all these other things to do. You shouldn't be resting. Uh, you gotta earn that rest. That's a big one. So the guilt is so strong. That's like what's leading you. But the 2.0 version knows that you don't have to feel guilty for resting. That is like old, old programming that has told you that.
And it's false. Just like, period. It is false. It doesn't need to be part of the equation. Have you girls felt that guilt? Like, I, I feel like we've been in very similar kind of journeys in that sense.
Tijana [00:22:45]: Oh my God. Yes. Like those first two were the story of my life until I went through my burnout at the tail end of corporate, not even understanding the proper definition of what an emergency is and how the corporate identity, the sense of urgency has been completely co-opted and has led us to this like productivity loop that we're all on, thinking that more is better, never enough, the bar can always be raised, and what you do is only as good as what you did for me lately. And it's such a problem because we all work. So we're all at some point exposed to that mentality. And it starts even sooner than that with like our families, like many immigrants that come in that build a better life. Yeah. You're like, you are the first that gets to go to school.
You are the first that gets to do this, or you are the eldest daughter, and there's like all these expectations that come with those roles that are put on us. Of course, yeah. Or you are the mom and this is your role as that person in this family. And I think that there's a really cool thing happening right now where maybe in the past people would've called it a midlife crisis, and I think it's really an awakening for women. They're saying, no, who said this has to be my life? Who said it had to be this way? It doesn't. You can be whatever you want to be and you can show up however you want to show up. You just have to like be brave enough to step into that. And I know that sounds weird when we're tying it to productivity, but like it shows up in everything and everywhere.
And so like picking that one place to be like, no, I'm going to sit down and I'm going to not do that to-do list today. This is what rest looks like for me today. Whoa. That sounds rebellious. You know, that past me would have had anxiety doing that.
Marilynn [00:24:34]: Yeah. Just even talking about it. Yeah.
Jordanna [00:24:35]: You're like, I'm getting I'm getting anxious thinking about it.
True Rest vs. Performative Rest
Marilynn [00:24:55]: So funny. Okay. And then the, the last place I wanna kind of go is just where this happens around performative rest. Okay. So listen, a lot of women will do things and call it self-care, right? So like you've got the skincare routines, the manicures, the spas, And listen, those have value. I love all those things, but it's also not the same as actual rest because it takes planning and output. What we're talking about, like real rest, the one that rejuvenates you, the one that refreshes you, it's actually kind of the boring kind.So again, looking at those two versions, the 1.0 will do those things thinking it's rest. Like, okay, I'm gonna go get my manicure. That's, that's my rest time. But underneath it's still you performing, right? You're just kind of like labeling it as self-care. And listen. I love getting my nails done, but I know that when I'm exhausted, um, and I go get my nails done, I'm still exhausted after. I just have really awesome nails with a side of tired.
Jordanna [00:25:44]: It's part of the to-do list. Yeah.
Marilynn [00:25:45]: Exactly. So the 2.0 version knows the difference between like productive activity and real nervous system rest. And that's what we're talking about, the real nervous system rest, right? It doesn't have to be performative. Okay. So we, we've talked about all this. So, Jorde, I want to pass it over to you because You know, the question for a lot of people is, okay, well, like, okay, how do I build this into my life? So take us through some of that for us.
A Tactical Playbook: How to Schedule Real Rest and Recovery
Tijana [00:26:08]: Yeah, I love that. And we've heard some good examples already. And the thing is, it doesn't work if it stays as this conceptual thing that you're supposed to do at some point in your life. And then, you know, it's important and then it becomes another stressor for you because you know you're not doing it. So let's look at what it is to build recovery into your life that is already likely pretty full. You know, we love our tactical takeaways, so we wanna give you a little playbook on how to Navigate this. Okay, so we're going to go through three things here. The first one is to schedule the rest like you schedule everything else that matters in your life.Put it in the calendar, put it on paper, give it a start time, give it an end time. And just because it's open time doesn't make it available to be booked. When this landed for me, it was like the skies opened up and it was like, what? I really did not understand that concept that you could have open time that wasn't available to other people to book you in. You're not a machine. You know, you can't just plug yourself in and get more juice, you know, like we can with our phones. We need to be able to schedule that downtime. And what helped me with my very productive, overactive brain was kind of thinking of it like a game of Tetris. That was my life.
It was Tetris. How do I plug in all these pieces? And every spot had an opportunity to be filled. That is, you know, a meeting here, an errand there, a class can be squeezed in between these two things. And I was always go, go, go. And there was never an opportunity for structured nothingness. And so you need to treat this as a non-negotiable for your life, because if you expect to be productive and successful in all of these other areas, You have to have that foundation of space for yourself. And so, it is a non-negotiable, just like it would be for a client meeting where you're going to close a deal, or your kid's practice, or the doctor's appointment. All of it.
It doesn't have to be, you know, like what we did, a three-day retreat to go and get this recuperation. It can be small. It can be as little as a 15-minute or 30-minute block a few times a week. One of the smallest things I do for myself is I actually, and I'll show it, but I'll say what it is. It's Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie, and they're literally maybe less than half a page mini meditations. And every day I close my laptop and I put the book on top of it so that the next morning before I start work, that's the first thing I do. And so if you think of something as small as that, it literally takes less than five minutes. And it's the thing that grounds me before I start my day.
So, it could be for you that small to give you that moment to ground yourself, for you to get inside your body and out of your head and to do something just for you. And then you can look for to expand that over time to give yourself these bigger blocks that are gonna give you some support. The other tip that I have is I have had to put into my calendar in literally bright red these blocks of time that I say no meeting, time off.
Jordanna [00:29:18]: Just asking, is it for yourself or for people who might book over? Or is it for you to see and be like, don't do it?
Tijana [00:29:23]: Both. It is my calendar that is available to book for others, but it is also my calendar for me. And I put it in red on purpose because that should be the thing that pops the most. It's like, do not book over me. And those times will also not be available for others who are booking me.
Marilynn [00:29:39]: To other people. I love that.
Tijana [00:29:39]: Yeah. So that I can actually have space in my day, which I never gave myself before, especially in corporate, but even since, you know, running my own business for the last five, six years, it only took me the last, like, I'll call it three to four months that I started to do this particular one because as you grow, as you get busier, the time becomes that much more valuable. If you don't schedule it, the I'll rest when I have time turns into absolutely never. It's got to be a priority.
Number two, know what counts as rest. You both gave awesome examples of what it looks like from a science perspective to not rest and what it looks like from an emotional, mental perspective to not rest and where it comes from. But real rest can look like sitting outside without your phone, lying down without a purpose to go to sleep.
Yeah. Just laying there. Like, what does that feel like to just lay there for a few minutes? A quiet bath where there's no sound, there's no nothing, it's just you. I have literally stared out the window, like, oh, look where my dog is looking. Like, what's he looking at? And just like kind of disassociate for a couple of minutes.
Jordanna [00:30:44]: Dogs are so good at that. That's what I love about having a dog, that they're just in the moment with you.
Marilynn [00:30:48]: We need to live more like dogs. They sleep a lot.
Jordanna [00:30:51]: They'll just be there with you and we're like, we're just existing together.
Tijana [00:30:53]: Yeah. And they're so happy. And it could also be reading something you aren't learning from. This is something that I did for a couple of years. I, my therapist told me, you're no longer allowed to read books that serve a purpose. They just have to be for joy. And these low-effort activities, like you said, Mare, they're not really rest, like watching TV, getting your nails done. They have a place in your life, but your nervous system needs genuine rest.
And so what does that look like? You know, one of the tools that could help you shift into recovery mode is breathing. Something that we do not always do consciously enough, and it can be as simple as 4-second breath in, 4-second breath out, holding your breath empty for 4 seconds and repeating. It can be time in nature without your phone. It can be solo time. And if you girls remember, we just did this meditative walk with Jana at our retreat. I have never walked so slow in my entire life.
Marilynn [00:31:49]: Wasn't that interesting to like actually slow down your pace to make you realize just how fast you walk, like on the daily? Yeah.
The other interesting thing that came out of this is exactly what you're talking about, Jorde, the things you notice.
Tijana [00:32:01]: So it's like, it was way easier to breathe intentionally. It was so much easier to notice. Like, I think I said that, like I was noticing like vines on branches. I would never have seen any of that if I was walking at my pace. And you even mentioned too that you're like, normally I'm like looking down. How about look up? Like look at what's around you.
Jordanna [00:32:21]: It was so beautiful and like, it's pretty damn magical. It is. I never go on unplugged walks. I know I should. But I always just can't bear it. Well, I, that's what I thought before, but also, you know, I, I don't live in like a beautiful area like that, but even the city, right? Like you observe things and you see things you normally wouldn't. It's my wake-up call that I need to start my unplugged walks that I keep saying I'm gonna start.
Marilynn [00:32:40]: Do you know what a really good strategy, cuz also I know a lot of people are like, I don't know how to do this, right? So my therapist gave me, uh, like using your 5 senses and you can do it indoors, but you can also do it outdoors. So it's like, use your 5 senses. It's like, go through your 5 senses and you literally do one for each sense. One thing I can smell, 2 things I can touch, 3 things I can hear, whatever it is.
Tijana [00:33:04]: So— What are you gonna taste in the forest?
Marilynn [00:33:07]: Well, sometimes though, when, you know, when you're walking by something and you like, the air kind of has a taste.
Tijana [00:33:11]: Has a taste.
Marilynn [00:33:12]: Yeah. Hopefully it's not exhaust, but yeah.
Tijana [00:33:13]: You're like licking a branch. Oh, hopefully it's a bakery or something.
Jordanna [00:33:17]: Yeah, I know.
Marilynn [00:33:18]: But maybe it's your gum, right? Like, that's the thing. Like, maybe it's the gum in your mouth.
Jordanna [00:33:22]: I was gonna say, I'll definitely have gum. It's accessible. Yeah. Nature is like the best way. I think just get in nature. That's to me, that's like the no-brainer, like get outside.
Tijana [00:33:29]: And the third one is to protect your space that you scheduled. You're allowed to say no. And I think this is one of the hardest ones for especially women growing up in our age demographic.
Marilynn [00:33:39]: No is a complete sentence.
Tijana [00:33:40]: Exactly. And here's the cost of not saying no. When you say yes to everything, you're creating these extra commitments to yourself, but you're not leaving room for the things that you really want to say yes to.
And so here's a couple of ways you can say no that maybe you need to practice. That time is already spoken for or booked. You don't owe anyone an explanation of what it is. This week isn't available, but next week I'm available XYZ, or just, I'm not available then. There's no explanation, no apology attached for it. You are allowed to just say no. And I would really flag you if, when you start to practice this, watch for these sabotaging patterns. Filling every rest block with a task in the moment that it's scheduled is turning rest into a productivity project, 'cause it ends up having you feel more anxious than you need to be.
You're reattaching guilt to things, and this is a time where you will be uncomfortable doing nothing for a period of time before you start to adjust and your nervous system starts to look forward to that time and know what to do with it. So give yourself the time to practice. And notice those patterns without judging yourself for them, because they are the 1.0 identity resisting the 2.0 version of you who's trying to build something better for yourself. Rest that isn't scheduled is rest that doesn't happen, and rest that doesn't happen isn't a nice-to-have that you missed. It's a strategy that you skipped. And if you are feeling stuck, that is likely why. So, Mare, please take us home. Wrap a little bow on this for us.
Recap & Final Thoughts
Marilynn [00:35:09]: Okay. So I I think everybody gets the gist here that like sustainable progress, all the things you want for your life, it's not coming from more. It's not gonna come from more training, more restriction, more discipline, more work, more filling your calendar with all the things. It's actually gonna come from you fully understanding that rest is not the reward for effort. It's one of the main ingredients. Okay? It has to be. And once you stop treating it as optional, we promise everything in your life and your body is gonna work better. The version of you who grinds through fatigue, who feels guilty for those rest days and who fills every block on your calendar with something productive, and I'm using air quotes, that version of you has been getting in her way.'Cause think about it, how has that been working for you? If you're listening to this podcast, you know that 2.0 version is just dying to be front and center. So, no amount of doing more is going to fix what only rest and recovery can. We really, really can't stress that enough. And we've already talked about something really important, which is It is gonna feel uncomfortable, right? It's gonna feel like you're falling behind because that narrative is strong. Mm-hmm. But every single time you do what we told you to do, you're building evidence in your brain. That 2.0 version of you is getting stronger, it's getting validated, and then that's what will be front and center. So despite that uncomfortable feeling, you gotta do it anyway.
We want you to schedule it. We want you to protect it. So if you are the woman who, you know, you're listening and you're like, I do fill every open block in my calendar with tasks, or you've scheduled rest, but then you've let things get in the way, right? And it covers up and you don't honor that block. That is what we help women understand and do. We build the recovery in for you so it doesn't get skipped the way it always has. And that conversation starts with us at getsculpted.ca/contact. And we are so ready to hear from you because we've all lived it. We've been on that 1.0 side and now we are building, we continue to build that 2.0 version and we're here to help you do that too.
So thank you for listening to this week's episode, and, uh, we're very excited to chat with you again next week.
More about the Get Sculpted Podcast
Welcome to Get Sculpted, the podcast for women who want to gain muscle and lose belly fat, improve their metabolism, and create real results using science-based fat loss strategies and practical coaching.
We go beyond quick fixes and fad diets to give you sustainable fat loss, strength training for weight loss, and fitness tips for women who want results without burning out. You’ll learn how lifting weights supports fat loss, how to train smarter instead of longer, and how to build habits that fit your lifestyle. Think less about guessing, more about clarity, and about progress you can maintain.
Whether you’re getting started or focused on building muscle after 30, this podcast gives women the tools to lose fat, gain muscle, and feel stronger, without relying on endless cardio or restrictive plans. We emphasize fat loss without cardio extremes, so you can train with confidence and consistency.
We’re your hosts, Jordanna, Marilynn, and Tijana, fitness professionals with over 20 years of combined experience and 1,000+ client transformations. With a strong focus on helping women 30 and older, we specialize in strength training, improving metabolism, and weight training for sustainable, realistic weight loss.
We’ll cover questions like:
Can you build muscle and lose belly fat at the same time?
How does strength training support weight loss?
What’s the best way to lose fat without losing muscle?
What’s the best way to lose fat without relying on cardio?
How can lifting weights improve my metabolism?
Why am I not losing weight even though I’m working out and eating healthy?
How can I stop yo-yo dieting for good?
If you’ve been searching for sustainable fat loss, women’s nutrition, and weight training that actually works, you’re in the right place. Join us every week for practical guidance, honest conversations, and tools to sculpt a stronger body and a more confident life.
Connect with us on Instagram at @getsculted.ca