How Sleep Affects Fat Loss: What's Happening in Your Body
Sleep deprivation is sabotaging your fat loss. Learn why sleep and weight loss are connected and what to do on this episode of the Get Sculpted podcast.
Prefer audio? Listen here!
Most women treating sleep as the last item on the list are not lazy or undisciplined. They have just been given the wrong priority order for their entire fitness lives. The workout and their meal prep get protected. The sleep gets whatever is left, and then those same women wonder why the fat loss has stalled, the cravings are out of control, and they are running on coffee and willpower by 10 am.
Coaches Marilynn, Tijana, and Jordanna make the case that sleep and fat loss are not two separate conversations. Sleep is when fat loss either happens or doesn't, and the episode gets into exactly why: the hormones at play, why cravings and late-night hunger are hormonal responses to being under-rested, and why women, specifically, are set up to deprioritize the one thing that makes everything else work.
Here's what we cover:
How sleep and fat loss are directly connected through cortisol, growth hormone, insulin sensitivity, and hunger hormones
Why women sleeping under 6 hours carry more visceral fat and less lean muscle than women sleeping 7 to 9 hours
How sleep deprivation affects weight loss even when training and nutrition are on point
Perimenopause sleep issues and how they compound the fat loss challenge
Why late-night snacking and cravings are often a biology problem, not a discipline problem
How to improve sleep quality with practical strategies that account for real life, kids, and a full schedule
Building a wind-down routine, backward planning your night, and the case for removing your phone from the bedroom
Sleep habits for busy moms who have tried to fix this before and run out of steam
The stat Tijana shares mid-episode is worth sitting with: when two groups follow the same calorie deficit and training plan, the group sleeping less loses more muscle and less fat. Same effort, worse result, because sleep is where the body does the actual work of changing.
"Your body composition, hunger, cravings, mood, recovery, every single one of those is shaped by how you sleep." - Coach Marilynn
If your sleep has been a mess for years and you have just accepted that tired is your baseline, that is exactly what Marilynn, Tijana, and Jordanna help their clients work through. Applications are open at getsculpted.ca/contact.
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More about the Get Sculpted Podcast
Welcome to Get Sculpted, the podcast for women who want to gain muscle and lose belly fat, improve their metabolism, and create real results using science-based fat loss strategies and practical coaching.
We go beyond quick fixes and fad diets to give you sustainable fat loss, strength training for weight loss, and fitness tips for women who want results without burning out. You’ll learn how lifting weights supports fat loss, how to train smarter instead of longer, and how to build habits that fit your lifestyle. Think less about guessing, more about clarity, and about progress you can maintain.
Whether you’re getting started or focused on building muscle after 30, this podcast gives women the tools to lose fat, gain muscle, and feel stronger, without relying on endless cardio or restrictive plans. We emphasize fat loss without cardio extremes, so you can train with confidence and consistency.
We’re your hosts, Jordanna, Marilynn, and Tijana, fitness professionals with over 20 years of combined experience and 1,000+ client transformations. With a strong focus on helping women 30 and older, we specialize in strength training, improving metabolism, and weight training for sustainable, realistic weight loss.
We’ll cover questions like:
Can you build muscle and lose belly fat at the same time?
How does strength training support weight loss?
What’s the best way to lose fat without losing muscle?
What’s the best way to lose fat without relying on cardio?
How can lifting weights improve my metabolism?
Why am I not losing weight even though I’m working out and eating healthy?
How can I stop yo-yo dieting for good?
If you’ve been searching for sustainable fat loss, women’s nutrition, and weight training that actually works, you’re in the right place. Join us every week for practical guidance, honest conversations, and tools to sculpt a stronger body and a more confident life.
Connect with us on Instagram at @getsculted.ca
The unedited podcast transcript for this episode of the Get Sculpted podcast follows:
Tijana [00:00:49]: Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:00:50]: The fact is you cannot out-train, you cannot out-eat, you cannot out-discipline a sleep deficit. So, the way we want you to think about it is that your training and nutrition are like the requests that you're putting in, but your sleep is the fulfillment that ties it all together. So, this episode is for you if you have been working out consistently and eating well and the scale will not budge, or you're walking around tired all the time and you're not sure why, or you're a woman running on 5 hours of sleep using coffee as your lifeline. We definitely have talked to those women before. And it is absolutely for you if you have not slept through the night in years because you blame things like your partner, your kids, perimenopause, stress, and you just walk around thinking tired is your baseline. It doesn't have to be. Today, we're going to break things down. We're going to talk about the science of what sleep actually does to your body and why it directly impacts fat loss.
Marilynn [00:01:44]: Second, we're going to chat through why women specifically struggle with sleep. And third, we're gonna, as always, give you the practical strategies you can use to help optimize your sleep. So ladies, are you ready to get into this sleep topic?
Tijana [00:01:57]: Yeah, it's gonna be a goodie.
Jordanna [00:01:58]: Oh yeah.
Marilynn [00:01:59]: All right, Ti, let's kick it off with, uh, the science behind sleep.
The Science: Why Sleep is Essential for Fat Loss & Recovery
Tijana [00:02:02]: Yes, let's talk about it. And the first thing I wanna say is like, I'm so sick of people treating sleep like it's a luxury. It's a necessity. And that's really the take-home message. So we really wanna hammer that home. And look, I'm sure some people listening are like, Oh, I can't get more sleep because XYZ. And I know we'll talk about that, but we really wanna encourage you to just keep listening because there are a lot of things in your control, a lot of things you can do to just get 1% better. We're not talking about being the world's greatest sleeper, and here's why you should care about that.Tijana [00:02:30]: We all hear it's important, but I think it's gonna be helpful to understand why we actually need to be sleeping more. When you have a deep restful stage of sleep, this is when your brain literally cleans itself. So, it clears out that metabolic waste that builds up during the day. And surprise, surprise, if you're training hard and you're trying to build muscle and you're aiming to get leaner, like this is the most important then, 'cause you're creating more of that metabolic waste through exercise. So, if you skip your sleep or you reduce your sleep, that waste is going to accumulate. And that's why the hours of bad sleep or days of bad sleep stacked together lead to having that consistent brain fog. Like you're just not as mentally sharp. Your mental health.
Tijana [00:03:09]: This one is quite unsurprising, I'd say.
Marilynn [00:03:11]: Yeah.
Tijana [00:03:11]: When you're not sleeping well, poor sleep is linked to higher anxiety, irritability, and depression, and your emotional regulation depends on it. Like, I know I turn into a bee when I'm not sleeping.
Marilynn [00:03:23]: Yeah.
Jordanna [00:03:24]: Right?
Marilynn [00:03:24]: Totally irritable. Yep.
Tijana [00:03:25]: Yep. Yep.
Marilynn [00:03:26]: Your fuse is very short.
Tijana [00:03:27]: Same. You're short fused. Exactly.
Marilynn [00:03:29]: Yeah.
Tijana [00:03:29]: And most women will just say, well, I'm just stressed. And, and that could be a part of it, but it goes hand in hand with being underslept.
Marilynn [00:03:35]: Mm-hmm.
Tijana [00:03:36]: Um, and this is also when your memory and learning consolidation happen at night. So if you're trying to learn a new skill, if you're, you know, in the gym trying to get better, whatever life demands of you, this is when it's really important that you're getting that quality sleep and not just pushing harder.
Jordanna [00:03:54]: Can I add something to this? Because when I was deep diving on sleep, like a number of years ago and trying to improve it for myself. It blew my mind that our brains problem solve when we sleep. And on this one specifically for like all of these like high performers or in your corporate office or like you're doing presentations and stuff, like I'm like, okay, sleep is actually helping me be more productive during my waking hours. And it was kind of this little switch in my head to be like, I was tricking myself to be like, oh, if I prioritize sleep better, then I'm actually gonna be better at all the other things versus seeing it as like unproductive time.
Jordanna [00:04:33]: Or something of that nature. And I just thought like, wow, it, I, my brain is so amazing. Like it's problem solving for me when I'm sleeping. So if I have a good sleep environment, I have all the good sleep, I'm actually gonna be better during my waking hours. So like that was just like a little reframe that I had for myself that, that really helped. And it really does. Like, haven't you ever been sleeping and you wake up and you're like, oh my God, I know how to tackle this problem now.
Marilynn [00:04:55]: Yes.
Jordanna [00:04:55]: Or like, that's what the missing piece was. And like, you just figured it out.
Tijana [00:04:58]: I've had tons of clients who are the same way. Like, they're like, it's like lazy to sleep longer. I'm using that in quotations. Or like your brain sees it as, I gotta do more, I gotta stay up later, I gotta wake up earlier. Like you said, Jord, it's being a high performer. It's about resting more and seeing that as like adding to what you're gonna do during the day.
Jordanna [00:05:15]: Rest is productive.
Tijana [00:05:17]: Exactly. That's the message.
Marilynn [00:05:18]: That's right. It actually, it reminds me of the parallel conversation, which is part of sleep as well, how we talk about recovery. Like we've done episodes on how like performers in the gym and building muscle recovery. This is the same thing. It's like an extension of that. So very important.
How Sleep Regulates Your Hormones
Tijana [00:05:32]: Exactly. Let's talk about what happens hormonally.Jordanna [00:05:35]: Okay.
Tijana [00:05:35]: This is another little rant I have when people are like optimizing hormone, like, look, we all want our hormones to be at healthy levels. Like, that's very important. But like, you don't do that with supplements. You don't do that with like, I don't know, protocols that are fancy. Like you do that by resting enough and literally putting your body under a controlled form of stress, which is exercise and being able to adapt from it. Having more muscle, having less body fat. And sleeping well and eating nutritious food. Like, this is how you're gonna have optimal hormones.
Marilynn [00:06:03]: That's right.
Tijana [00:06:04]: And this is how sleep relates to that. So cortisol, we all hear about it, you know, the stress hormone. Think of sleep as your body's reset button for cortisol.
Marilynn [00:06:13]: Mm-hmm.
Tijana [00:06:13]: So when you sleep well, your cortisol is gonna stay low overnight and then it's gonna reset. So your cortisol should be highest in the morning, and then melatonin should conversely be, uh, the lowest in the morning. So the, and then melatonin's higher at night, cortisol should be Low at night. That's normal. So cortisol's not bad. We just don't want consistently elevated cortisol. So when you don't sleep properly, you wake up with already a higher baseline of that stress hormone.
Marilynn [00:06:36]: Mm-hmm.
Tijana [00:06:36]: And then when you stack up a few nights of bad sleep, now you're walking away with like consistent stress throughout the day. And that means that your body is gonna be more inclined to store that stubborn body fat, especially around the midsection, which is not what we want. So again, this isn't like a matter of like, Hey, let's do a magic supplement or like eat 1,000 calories a day. It simply means like you're just trying to like outgrind a lack of sleep, which is not working.
Jordanna [00:07:01]: Right.
Tijana [00:07:02]: Growth hormone, super important. This is primarily released during sleep. So this is actually the hormone that's gonna help you build and repair your lean muscle. That's gonna work for you to burn more fat every single day. You're gonna mobilize more body fat for energy, and you're gonna recover from that training. So if you're not sleeping properly, Consistently, you're getting very little of that growth hormone and very little fat is being mobilized. I don't wanna gloss over the muscle part, 'cause I think a lot of people think, oh, you know, if I want fat loss, muscle's very important.
Marilynn [00:07:30]: Hmm.
Tijana [00:07:30]: That's why we tell our clients too, like, if you miss a workout, don't even think about doing 2 workouts in a day. Or like, oh, I gotta, you know, cut my sleep. That's nuanced a little bit, but like, if you're cutting your sleep to do more or just doing more, like doing 2 a days is doing more harm than good. Like recovery is when The muscle is built, right?
Jordanna [00:07:47]: Exactly.
Tijana [00:07:48]: Insulin sensitivity. So this is gonna drop dramatically when you're not sleeping well. So even after one bad night of sleep, your body is gonna handle carbs worse. So you're not gonna be able to partition those nutrients to the right places. So they're more likely to get stored as body fat and less go to fuel or building muscle, which is not what we want.
Marilynn [00:08:07]: Yeah.
Jordanna [00:08:07]: None of this is, especially if you're already struggling with insulin sensitivity or your A1C is high or yeah. prediabetic, which a lot of perimenopausal women end up being, this is like a big key to that puzzle for you is the sleep.
Tijana [00:08:22]: Exactly. And it all comes back to like, when we're talking about lifestyle, this is what it is. Yeah. And then hunger. This is a really, really important one. So leptin is the I'm full signal. It's the satiety hormone. Ghrelin is your I'm hungry signal.
Tijana [00:08:36]: And I always remember this 'cause I think of ghrelin like a stomach growling.
Marilynn [00:08:41]: And I think of it like a gremlin, which I'm probably creating myself. Like a hunger gremlin.
Tijana [00:08:44]: Right?
Marilynn [00:08:45]: Yeah, exactly. Like this little thing being like, I'm hungry.
Tijana [00:08:47]: Yes, literally. And let me tell you, one of the most important things in prep for this exact reason was, fortunately, I'm such a great sleeper. Like when I was pregnant, I slept for 12 hours in a row, not even to get up to go pee. Like I just boop, flatlined. Um, but anyway, during prep, I, some people can't sleep very well when they get like toward the tail end, but I, I needed to sleep more because if I didn't, you'd just be having cravings all day.
Marilynn [00:09:10]: Yeah, it's true.
Tijana [00:09:11]: And the reason is after a bad sleep, Ghrelin, your satiety hormone that says I'm full, gets quieter. And then the ghrelin, the ghrelin hormone, the hunger hormone gets louder. So you're hungrier and have less satiety. That translates to you're going to wake up hungrier than you should be. You're less satisfied by what you do eat. And specifically, you're going to crave quick energy, like from sugar and carbs.
Marilynn [00:09:33]: Can I make a point here too? And I find people who aren't getting enough sleep are typically staying up later. Then you get into this like perfect storm where you're starving. You're tired, you're not going to bed. And what do we hear all the time? Like, I get the munchies at night. I'm snacking when I'm scrolling on my phone.
Tijana [00:09:48]: Exactly. And then remember, like, when it comes to like hormones and fat loss and muscle building and changing your body composition, the bigger conversation here is like, they do matter. They do impact like how you feel and show up and what you do. At the end of the day, hormones impact you by influencing how much you move or how much you take in, right? So that's how you wanna look at this. You having these really strong cravings and having a harder time recovering and just not being able to move as much, 'cause you're so tired. Like, this is not a willpower thing, this is a biology thing.
Marilynn [00:10:17]: Yeah.
Tijana [00:10:17]: And your body is just like, I need more rest and I'm not getting rest, so I need more fuel. And you don't wanna set yourself up for that negative cycle. And body composition, let's talk about that specifically. So, yeah, research has shown that women sleeping less than 6 hours typically carry more body fat, more visceral fat. That's like the bad kind of fat around the midsection that can be linked to certain diseases, and less lean mass than women who sleep 7 to 9 hours.
Marilynn [00:10:43]: Wow.
Tijana [00:10:43]: So, this was interesting when we read this stat. When you put 2 groups in the same calorie deficit and the same training, the underslept group loses more muscle and less fat. So, you don't want that.
Marilynn [00:10:54]: Yeah.
Tijana [00:10:54]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:10:54]: That makes sense though, after everything we talked about.
Tijana [00:10:57]: A sidebar here is like, we don't want just weight loss. We want to improve your body composition. We want fat loss. So, when you're losing muscle, it's not doing you any favors for your metabolism or how you're looking. You don't wanna lose muscle.
Marilynn [00:11:09]: Absolutely.
Tijana [00:11:10]: The translation here is like, you could be doing everything right, and you're eating less, and that's technically what you should be doing, and you're trying to train hard, but you're getting worse results, because you're not recovering well, and those nutrients are not going to the right places, and sleep is just sabotaging the whole situation.
Marilynn [00:11:24]: Yeah. Yep.
Tijana [00:11:25]: And we really wanna come back to remembering that you can never out-train or out-discipline sleep deficit. That's really the big takeaway.
Marilynn [00:11:33]: Big time.
Why Women Struggle With Sleep—And How Mental Load Plays a Role
Tijana [00:11:36]: When did sleep stop being something that you took for granted? So for me, I'll share, it was when I, uh, had my first son when he was a newborn. Like, I remember thinking like, 'cause again, I've always been a fantastic sleeper and also when I partied, like I did well with living on little sleep for like the, that period. But then when I had my son, it was like, you wake up every few hours and you don't know when you're gonna wake up and then they're finally sleeping, but you have the, the postpartum insomnia, cuz you're like, I've been waking up every few hours. When are they gonna get up? And it's a whole thing. That's when I, I remember those early weeks.Jordanna [00:12:07]: Mm-hmm.
Tijana [00:12:07]: They flew by. But at the same time, I'm like, I didn't know that I could function on 3 hours of sleep in 24 hours. And then as those days stacked, it wasn't just one-off, like one night. It was like, okay, now I'm like, it, it was like I was dial-up internet. Everything was like, you know that loading symbol?
Marilynn [00:12:22]: Yeah. Yeah.
Jordanna [00:12:22]: Yeah.
Tijana [00:12:22]: Every time I had to—
Marilynn [00:12:23]: I call it the spinny wheel of death. Yes.
Jordanna [00:12:25]: Yes.
Tijana [00:12:26]: Every time I had to think about that something, it was like I was a meme and that paused and I was like, Uh, and like, again, working out, I remember like the littlest tasks felt monumental. It was like, do you wanna go for a walk? Ugh, man, I'm exhausted.
Jordanna [00:12:39]: It's true.
Tijana [00:12:40]: Since not feeling that way, you know, the years go by and you prioritize your sleep and you feel so good. I'm like, I never ever wanna feel that way ever again. No, if I can help it.
Jordanna [00:12:48]: I would agree. The early motherhood years were definitely a wake-up call of like, I don't know how people function on like 2 or 3 hours or like intermittent sleep like that. It's. It really was very, very awful, but I stopped taking it for granted actually in my 20s after I was like finishing university and moving into the corporate world. And I was waking up so early to get to work. That's when I actually started waking up at 5:00 AM, sometimes sooner to get to work. And my days were just so long when I first started working in corporate or for my entire corporate years.
Marilynn [00:13:23]: Yeah.
Jordanna [00:13:23]: That it's like if I didn't get that sleep, I just wasn't performing at an optimal level. Like my brain was not functioning properly. And I found that if I had multiple nights of 6 hours or less of sleep, I would legitimately like catch a cold or like get sick.
Tijana [00:13:38]: Oh yeah.
Marilynn [00:13:38]: Well, your body's run down.
Jordanna [00:13:40]: Yeah. My immune system was like brutal. So I was like, okay, this is obviously something I have to prioritize. Otherwise I'm gonna miss work literally because I'm sick and I still am just myself. Like I don't even have a family yet. Like what's gonna happen if I get to this other stage of life and I still don't have this figured out? So. For me, it was always like, even back then, like in my mid-20s, something that was like, okay, minimum 7 hours sleep. Like this is just has to happen.
Jordanna [00:14:04]: So I was the one who would ghost, surprise, surprise, would ghost like kind of-ish early the night and be like, bye guys. And they're like, where are you going? I'm like, I'm going to sleep.
Marilynn [00:14:14]: Sleep time.
Tijana [00:14:15]: Oh, 100%. Own it.
Marilynn [00:14:17]: Own it.
Jordanna [00:14:17]: Yeah. That's exactly what had to happen. 'Cause otherwise I would literally end up sick. So that was my, my take.
Marilynn [00:14:22]: Well, I think mine's kind of twofold. So one is like, again, we all know sleep is important, but I'm gonna say like, I'm a bit of a night owl. So when I was teaching, especially in the early years, you know, I was like building my teaching repertoire. Like I, I was up late. Like I was just like, I would work all day, mark, and then plan. And I know my body wasn't functioning optimally now, right? You know, now can't go back in time, but I was getting 5, 6 hours sleep. I felt totally fine. I was like, I can do this.
Marilynn [00:14:47]: The days were fine. Until it wasn't, right? And then it's like, oh my God, this is caught up. And that's exactly what it is. And I remember my husband saying to me, he's like, 'cause I would say that too, Jordan. I would be like, oh my God, like, I feel like I'm getting sick, or I feel like I'm hungover.
Jordanna [00:14:58]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:14:58]: And he said that, he was like, you know, this is one of the things that happens with sleep. Like your sleep deficit accumulates. And he said that the impact actually is like driving under the influence. He's like, when you're tired, like to that degree. So I would say like in my 30s is when I really was like, okay, I have to prioritize sleep. But the second time it happened when was when I actually made the transition from teaching to coaching, because as a teacher, your schedule is very set. When I became an entrepreneur, it's like you could work 24 hours a day and never sleep and still not be done. So I would say like when I got sick and I had my hysterectomy and all that, I've realized now that my body's just not recovering the way that it used to.
Marilynn [00:15:34]: And so now that's why I was telling you girls, I got like almost 9 hours sleep last night because I need it.
Tijana [00:15:39]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:15:39]: Like I absolutely need it. So now sleep's not a luxury. Like other things will stop. I will also be the person who's like, bye, I'm going to bed now. 'Cause I live in my body, right? So anyway, I, I would say like my early 30s and then again, like in my early 40s, it's been like a wake-up call for different reasons. Yeah.
Sleep Saboteurs: The Mental Load, Perfectionism & Life Stage Pressures
Tijana [00:15:55]: That's so important. And that's a good, uh, segue actually, 'cause Jord, why don't you tell us about why so many women are struggling with sleep even though they know better? They know they, they need to do it.Jordanna [00:16:05]: Yeah. Like, you know better. Like you're probably listening to this being like, girls, like, yeah, I'm with you. Duh. Um, but I wanna set the scene because as soon as we were thinking about this episode, it brought me back to a Sarah Jessica Parker movie that I watched like a while ago.
Marilynn [00:16:19]: Which one? Which one? Love her.
Jordanna [00:16:20]: I Don't Know How She Does It. Do you remember that one? She's like the mom. So she's a mom, she has kids, she has like this crazy career, she's married, she like helps out at school, she like does all the stuff. And this poor woman, there's this one scene where Sarah's like lying in bed after like making cupcakes for her kids, like bakes Yep. And like making lunches and like finishing work and cleaning up the kitchen. And she's lying in bed and it's 2 o'clock in the morning. She has to get up at 6, so she's only gonna get like 4 hours of sleep. Her husband, like, I think wanted to be intimate if I remember the scene correctly.
Jordanna [00:16:50]: Mm-hmm. And she was like, babe, I, I like literally can't. And I'm like, yeah, I understand that, girl. And then she's like laying there trying to fall asleep, so tired. And then all of a sudden it's like these Post-it notes pop up above her face. She's lying in bed and all of the like to-do lists are writing themselves like visually over her as she's trying to fall asleep. And I think the scene so perfectly sums up—
Marilynn [00:17:15]: Yeah.
Jordanna [00:17:15]: Why women know better, but we are in a position where we can't always do better, implement it for ourselves because, you know, we know we need it, but this stage of life and these obligations and this, you know, societal pressure to do it all, quote unquote, and that you can't really take care of yourself. Like we still struggle with that. Like that number one thing with most clients is like, Are you really gonna prioritize yourself right now? Because it means disappointing other people. And so that's what we're struggling with now is that dichotomy of like, we have the permission slips and the dentist appointment and the people we forgot to send emails to and the grocery list that isn't made and the birthday party and the dinner tomorrow night and the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And like our brains are so loud because the mental load is so heavy and we haven't had a chance to turn it off.
Marilynn [00:18:04]: Yeah.
Jordanna [00:18:05]: And that's what helps us. Actually fall asleep. And so it's the systems that we don't have in place, the habits in our lifestyle that are actually keeping us stuck from getting the, the night's sleep that we need. And if you're listening to this and you're like, but that stuff still has to get done, it just means that we don't have the right system yet in place.
Marilynn [00:18:25]: Exactly.
Jordanna [00:18:25]: To get the main stuff done. But also, I wanna respectfully challenge you, what are you trying to get done that literally does not need to be done or that can be done by somebody else? Like, what can you offload?
Tijana [00:18:37]: When you're talking about doing something for the school, like sometimes if, if my kids need something for the next day, I'm like, I'm sorry, I'm not gonna do it. Like today they had a red shirt day. I'm like, I'm not gonna go out and buy a red shirt.
Marilynn [00:18:50]: No. Yeah.
Tijana [00:18:51]: They can live without the red shirt or like, okay, I love when parents do this, but I'm never gonna be the one who like sets up like decorations for their kid's birthday so that when they wake up, that's nice.
Jordanna [00:19:00]: Okay. We do that.
Tijana [00:19:01]: I love, I love that. I love that.
Marilynn [00:19:04]: But I think the point you're making is that you don't have to do it all.
Jordanna [00:19:06]: You don't have to do it all. Yeah.
Tijana [00:19:08]: If that was my thing that I'm like, I'm working and like, I'm done. It's 10:00 PM. I'm not gonna stay up and do that. I'm not.
Marilynn [00:19:13]: Yeah. And guess what, T? Like your kids, I'm gonna be honest, like they're gonna be just fine.
Tijana [00:19:17]: They are.
Marilynn [00:19:17]: They're, they're gonna remember their birthdays being the most wonderful things, whether they have the balloons in the morning or not. Yeah. So I think that's like, that's the main message.
Tijana [00:19:23]: Exactly.
Marilynn [00:19:24]: You're summarizing it perfectly.
Jordanna [00:19:26]: We have to let go of it.
Marilynn [00:19:27]: Self-imposed sometimes.
Tijana [00:19:28]: It is self-imposed.
Jordanna [00:19:29]: And it's like, we have this like false sense of perfection and like the Pinterest mom that I think so many women are still like holding onto, or like the whole trend of being a tradwife now.
Tijana [00:19:41]: Of course.
Jordanna [00:19:41]: And that dichotomy of like also being the working one and also, also, also, also. It's like, what are you willing to sacrifice for your own health at this stage of the game? And I think that that's like the great challenge of our generation right now is like, We were brought up to want to have it all, but now we realize what the cost of having it all is. And many of us are sitting back being like, is the cost worth it? And having that reevaluation. And any of us who've had full-blown burnout will tell you it's not because that is why I burnt out was because I didn't have the right boundaries because I didn't know how to say no, because I didn't know how to offload to other people or delegate well, or just say no, or just be like, I'm not doing that, which is a boundary.
Marilynn [00:20:28]: Yeah.
Jordanna [00:20:28]: Be like, that doesn't work.
Tijana [00:20:29]: Yeah.
Jordanna [00:20:30]: Right?
Marilynn [00:20:30]: Yeah.
Tijana [00:20:30]: This is a good example. Sorry, I was just thinking about how, uh, recently we're volunteering for our kids', uh, karate and we need to do like a weekly class where we go there like, uh, every Tuesday evening. And me and Brian just had this like come to Jesus moment where we're like, we just can't commit to doing the Tuesday evening. Like we can't, we can't do this till 9:00 PM. And I'm like, you know, I don't wanna let anyone down, but like, you know, we were thinking, oh, but we signed up for this thing. I'm like, you know, we're not giving our best here and like, We're gonna make the call. And then instantly, like this big weight lifted off our shoulders where it's like, we don't have to do this.
Marilynn [00:21:01]: Isn't that feeling though amazing? Like, I think that's the other thing we want our listeners to understand is that it's patterns, right? Like these are patterns you've grown into. You've said yes, you've neglected your boundaries. So as soon as you start doing what you just did, T, you feel that weight. Now you're, you're creating evidence of how good it feels to hold those boundaries, to say no, to say, I don't have capacity for this. Or simply, I don't want to do this. You're allowed to not wanna do things.
Sleep Killers You Can Control (And What To Change Tonight)
Tijana [00:21:25]: That's the thing. I'm not gonna go into overcapacity mode. The delegating thing is huge cuz like, I know a lot of the time, sometimes when I, you have this conversation, people kind of rant to you about like, well, my husband doesn't do anything. That's a whole separate conversation. But I'd say most of the time it's just that you've taken so much on yourself. Even my kids who are 6 and almost 10, like I'll be like, from now on, I'm like, guys, when you come home from school, you're gonna empty your lunch bags.Marilynn [00:21:47]: Yep.
Tijana [00:21:47]: And they're like, okay.
Jordanna [00:21:49]: Yep.
Marilynn [00:21:49]: You've created the norm. Yeah.
Tijana [00:21:51]: Exactly. And Brian is amazing, like, but he doesn't seek out things to do. So like sometimes, you know, I'll be like, Brian, in my prep, I'm like, you're gonna do the barbecue a couple times a week. He's like, oh yeah, absolutely.
Jordanna [00:22:03]: Instead of having such high expectations of ourselves, we need to be able to have confidence and belief in other people that they can do the things too.
Marilynn [00:22:11]: Yeah.
Jordanna [00:22:11]: And that's how they get better at them. That's how we offload from ourselves and help others, right? And there are certain like stages of life where sleep may get interrupted, like the newborn stage, or when teens start going out and they're driving and you're now the parent at home and you're like, it's 2:00 AM and they haven't come home. Yeah, of course you're gonna be awake, but these are like moments in time.
Marilynn [00:22:33]: Yes.
Jordanna [00:22:33]: And I'd say the, the third one that is particularly important is like during perimenopause and menopause because as like estrogen's declining and progesterone, you know, it Definitely changes the architecture of sleep and can have you waking up when you would normally have been sleeping. Things like hot flashes and night sweats, and even anxiety can increase when you're in perimenopause. And it definitely ramps up why we need sleep, but also is super disruptive. So if that is you, don't wait until your doctor's like, hey, now I'm willing to treat you. If you're having symptoms like Seek somebody out who will support you because there are options for you and you don't just have to like live in that way. But it is like a thing that isn't in your control as much if you're experiencing that, but definitely get the support there. Because women, ultimately we're not sleeping less because we're undisciplined. We're sleeping less because the systems in our life are not set up to support us to get the sleep.
Jordanna [00:23:35]: So there's a couple of behaviors that I do want to flag that if these are in your control, I want you to think about them before we move on to deeper routines and habits. But if you're having like the afternoon coffee, that might be something that you might want to take a look at. The glass of wine to unwind in the evening, that can definitely affect REM sleep and deeper sleep for women over 40 specifically. And the phone scroll in bed. So think about things like blue light and dopamine hits. Yep. It creates additional mental stimulation when we actually wanna be powering ourselves down. And then, you know, the self-care routines that aren't really self-care.
Jordanna [00:24:15]: So like Netflix and glasses of wine, or like doing certain things of that nature, it's actually the opposite of what we need to be doing. So girls, I have a question for you. What is the one thing in your life right now that's disrupting your sleep most? And is it outside of your control or have you just decided that it is?
Tijana [00:24:34]: I know it's the screens and I've said this to our clients actually on, uh, the Monday Momentum because I have taken over a role in my business and I'm literally on my phone an obscene amount. And this is the season that that's happening. But like, if I'm being honest, there was a while where I was having, which is very unusual for me. Normally I fall asleep under 10 minutes, but it was taking me like 30 minutes to fall asleep.
Marilynn [00:24:52]: Right.
Tijana [00:24:53]: According to my Oura Ring. What's helped a ton is I bought, which I was showing on the video here, the blue light blockers. I had some already, but like I, I wasn't using them because I didn't need them. And then anyway, now I, I just bought another 3-pack because I'm like, let me just have a bunch around. And I've just been very conscious of using them. And also like, if you're a business owner, you gotta draw the boundaries. Like I have that pep talk with myself all the time. I'm like, no one's gonna put me in jail for turning my phone off right now.
Tijana [00:25:16]: You know, that's already helped a ton.
Marilynn [00:25:18]: That's awesome.
Tijana [00:25:19]: How about you, Mer?
Marilynn [00:25:19]: For me, I would say it's like when I don't honor my bedtime, right? So like when I have a, a bad sleep, it's like I'm just not getting enough. And kind of piggybacking on that is where like I'll do work right until the minute I go to bed. Like literally I'll close my laptop and I'll be like, all right. And I've already washed up. Like I'm literally in my pajamas sometimes. I'm doing check-ins or something in my pajamas. So it's not getting enough sleep and it's not giving myself that appropriate time to wind down and actually like not be at 100 before I go to bed. So both of those things impact huge.
Marilynn [00:25:49]: And guess what? They're both in my control. So that's been a boundary that like, again, and this is the thing with boundaries, right? Like you have to continuously uphold them. So I recognize that that has slipped the last little while. So it is within my control. It is being reassessed and I'm committed to it.
Tijana [00:26:06]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:26:06]: Because I know how good I feel. Yeah.
What Actually Works: Fix Your Sleep With These Proven Steps
Jordanna [00:26:08]: And if you're realizing my sleep has been a mess for years and I've just been accepting that this is how it is, but it is actually holding you back from everything else that you're working on. This is one thing that we do help our clients work through, whether on momentum calls, in our one-on-one coaching, because when you're already stretched so thin with work and kids and life and trying to overhaul your sleep on your own, While addressing your health and fitness goals.Marilynn [00:26:34]: Yeah.
Jordanna [00:26:34]: It feels like just one more thing you don't have capacity for, and so then it doesn't get done. So if you want help prioritizing and protecting your sleep, like building the systems that make it non-negotiable, that support you rather than hurt you so that everything else can happen more smoothly, we do have applications open at getsculpted.ca/contact, and we help you treat sleep like the part of the foundation that it is. So not the thing you fit in around everything else. So if that's you, please reach out to us. We're ready to help you and we'd be happy to chat. So, Mar, bring us home.
Marilynn [00:27:09]: Yep.
Your Sleep Action Plan: Step-by-Step for Better Rest Tonight
Jordanna [00:27:09]: Because we've named the problem, we've talked about the science. Now we need to know what to actually do about it. Solve this problem for us.Marilynn [00:27:17]: Okay, here we go. I'm solving world's problems right now. Here's the thing, like we've said it a million times, like when it comes to sleep, the basics work. Like there is nothing fancy about it. It's probably the messaging you've heard over and over and over. So It's not a situation where we don't know what to do. It's truly that this is being considered an afterthought, something that we do after everything else. Like you said, now all I see is like the Post-its going up over my head.
Marilynn [00:27:39]: There's always gonna be stuff to do, right? So, you have to start treating it like the thing your life is built around, not that afterthought. And that's why, you know, we talk a lot on this podcast about the skill of protecting your time, right? So, we talk about how you protect your workout time. You protect your meal prep time, you protect your family time, you have to protect your sleep time.
Jordanna [00:27:59]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:27:59]: Okay. And all the things that we're gonna go through now, it just shows you that sleep can be considered a skill and it's something that you can practice and it's fixable, right? It's definitely something you can work on. So if you're listening and you're like, oh my God, my sleep sucks right now, it's not optimal, then this is something you can work on. It's not doom and gloom. All right. And we do hear a lot of women, I, I'm sure you guys can attest to this, that will say like, oh, I'm just a bad sleeper. I just don't sleep well.
Marilynn [00:28:22]: When we dig deeper with a lot of those women, what we realize is, Jord, what you said, it's that their systems and routines have actually not been set up to support their sleep. They're working against themselves. So, we're gonna go through some practical steps, 'cause you know we love doing that, how to optimize your sleep, right? And how to be successful. So, the first thing is, and T, you always say this, like, set a wake-up time and protect it. What you wanna do is pick a time that you can pretty much hold all 7 days of the week, give or take, I would say like 30 to 60 minutes-ish.
Jordanna [00:28:48]: Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:28:49]: But consistency with your wake-up time is gonna anchor everything. It's gonna anchor your circadian rhythm. It's gonna anchor the routine of the day, and your body actually learns when it's time to wind down and wake up. So you're creating that pattern within yourself. So that's a big one.
Tijana [00:29:03]: Just wanna vouch for that because I also wanna say that like, I totally see the benefit of the most hours in the morning, like to yourself.
Marilynn [00:29:12]: Mm-hmm.
Tijana [00:29:12]: But realistically, like I'm not, not even because I can't or don't want to, but I'm not gonna wake up at 5:00 AM every day.
Marilynn [00:29:17]: Yeah.
Tijana [00:29:17]: So what's worked well is like, yeah, for me, because my kids, they go to bed the same time as us, which is kind of late. Um, which is like 10-ish, right?
Marilynn [00:29:25]: So, okay.
Tijana [00:29:25]: I don't wanna cut into my sleep. So if I know I'm going to bed at 10, I can commit to 6 consistently. And to me that's like very manageable on the weekends too. So you wanna pick a time that's not ridiculous for you.
Marilynn [00:29:34]: Yeah.
Tijana [00:29:35]: Like if you're waking up at 8 or 9, don't say I'm gonna be a 5 AMer. That's a great ambitious thing. But like, again, like you said, within 30 minutes, I think this is such a powerful reframe too, cuz like anyone else, when I was younger, I'd be like, I wanna sleep in on the weekend. Can't wait to sleep in. And then now I actually like, I'm so well rested that I wake up and I love not starting my day with my kids being like, I need something. So the weekends like feel awesome and, and you can get there too.
Marilynn [00:29:58]: Yeah. Well, I think that's a good point because often when people are like, oh my God, I'm dying to sleep in, it's because you've had a sleep deficit all week. Yes. Right. So what you're saying is if you have that consistency, you're not going to feel like you need to have 20 hours of sleep on the weekend. To catch up for the sleep you didn't get Monday to Friday.
Tijana [00:30:14]: It's like avoiding sweets, like binging with sweets too, right? It's like, I can't eat it. Can't eat it. Bam.
Jordanna [00:30:19]: It's exposure therapy.
Tijana [00:30:19]: Yeah, it's true. Exactly. Exposure therapy.
Marilynn [00:30:22]: All right. Number 2, this one actually I have to practice more and more and more. It's backwards plan your night. So let's think about the math. If you need to wake up at 6:00 AM and you want 7.5 hours sleep, you need to be asleep by 10:30.
Jordanna [00:30:34]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:30:34]: But that doesn't mean like in bed by 10:30 and you're up at 6:00, that's gonna be your hours of sleep. You actually have to work backwards. Think about it. If you wanna be asleep by 10:30, odds are you probably should be in bed around 10, cuz you're not gonna, well, I mean, I would love to know the person who falls asleep like that when their head hits the pillow. It's Tiana. I am not that person.
Jordanna [00:30:49]: It's Tiana.
Marilynn [00:30:50]: Yeah.
Tijana [00:30:51]: Most of the time.
Marilynn [00:30:52]: But most people don't, right? So if you wanna be asleep by 10:30, you gotta be in bed by 10, which means you probably have to start winding down around like maybe 9, 9:30. Mm-hmm. And most women don't do this math. They do what I said that I sometimes do, which is like close my computer, go to bed, and I'm sitting there going, Why am I awake? Why am I awake? Like you've given your body no time to actually wind down, right? So backwards plan your night.
Tijana [00:31:15]: Workback schedule.
Jordanna [00:31:16]: Yes, a workback schedule. And what I love about this one is, is it will shock you how much time is slipping in your evening where you're like, 9 o'clock, that sounds so early that I have to start winding down. I guess it leads into your next one, Mare, so I won't like steal too much thunder, but like.
Marilynn [00:31:32]: No, it's okay.
Jordanna [00:31:33]: People are shocked by like how much time they actually either one, waste, or two, that they don't necessarily have. And this is why the systems in the evening are so critical and saying no to certain things because like you're probably doing stuff that you don't need to be doing.
Tijana [00:31:49]: Exactly.
Marilynn [00:31:49]: Yeah, you're right. This one kind of piggybacks on that too. The third one is build a wind-down ritual. Like you do wanna start at least an hour, maybe even if you can, 90 minutes before bed. Lights down, screens off. That's a big one. I know some people will like take a night shower because it will kind of like calm them. You can stretch, like you can read.
Marilynn [00:32:07]: I love journaling. I love reading before bed, but make it a simple routine. And you know, when you think about it, when we hear women saying like, the nighttime is just the only time I have for myself, but they wanna be on their phones and they wanna do their things. Do this instead because this is two birds with one stone. You're winding down, doing things that are productive, and you actually are resting and recovering.
Jordanna [00:32:26]: And here's the thing, if your kids are still at the stage where they're like younger and you're like, 60 minutes to myself at like 8 o'clock at night, that's bedtime. I don't have time for that. Like, this is just too busy. Do it with them. Like, they have bath time, they have reading a book time. Like, you're doing these things with your kids to set their bedtime. Why do you think, like, do you think you've outgrown it? Like, you haven't, like you still need it too. So do it together and then put them to bed and then put yourself to bed.
Tijana [00:32:52]: And I will reframe the whole like me time because women will say this and moms, and then they have their me time late at night and then they wake up and, you know, they're scrambling in the morning and it's go, go, go. Yeah. But I wanna reframe that. What if the me time was actually like waking up a little bit earlier before your family, before all that chaos, the quiet cup of coffee? Oh my God. I have a mug that says no coffee, no talkie. And I'm like, that's so true.
Marilynn [00:33:14]: I actually, it's funny you say that. I have a client who, and it took time, but she actually did exactly that, T. She kind of reframed it and switched it for herself, so Yeah. She goes to bed, she has like a pretty solid routine, and now her, uh, well, I guess it's like a windup ritual is in the morning.
Tijana [00:33:28]: Yes, exactly. That's me time.
Marilynn [00:33:30]: So she actually does a full hour before like the day starts for the family where she drinks her coffee. She said she's like, I sometimes I'll do like a mindfulness practice. I'll read. 'Cause she also says the day gets away from you. So she's like, I wanna make sure that that is protected time. I love that. That's a really good idea.
Tijana [00:33:45]: I do my deep work in the morning. Yeah.
Marilynn [00:33:47]: Yeah. And don't forget too, doing things with your kids, not only setting them up for success, to sleep and, you know, be productive themselves, but you're also teaching them the skill.
Jordanna [00:33:55]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:33:55]: So when they become, you know, adults, they'll already have this ingrained that this is such an important part of my day. Cool. 4th one, cool, dark, quiet bedroom. This is one of those things that like I didn't realize was so important until I did it. And I was like, wow, this is so important. And, you know, props to my hubby because he kind of made this a thing for us, but temperature is like a very underrated lever that you can pull when it comes to sleep quality. So 18 to 20 degrees Celsius is like the research-backed sweet spot. Blackout curtains are great if you can get them.
Jordanna [00:34:26]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:34:26]: Jord, I know you're a fan of this one, the eye mask, right?
Jordanna [00:34:28]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:34:29]: Putting the eye mask on if you need one. A white noise machine. We use our Amazon Alexa. We love it. We play thunderstorms in that. But think of your bedroom as like a place to sleep. It's not a place for working. It's not a place for scrolling.
Marilynn [00:34:40]: It's not a place to like have your Doritos in front of the TV. Like it is a place for sleep and rest and recovery. 5, Jord, I know you've also done this one. You've been my motivation. The phone out of the bedroom. This is a huge needle mover, and I'm gonna say this like super direct, like your phone is probably one of the biggest single sleep disruptors that's happening in your life.
Tijana [00:35:01]: Preach.
Marilynn [00:35:01]: Buy a good old-fashioned alarm clock. Honestly, charge your phone in the bathroom, the kitchen. I know it might feel extreme because right now if you're going to sleep with your phone, it might feel like a stretch, but this is the resistance that you would expect from a habit that has been like running in your life without you realizing.
Jordanna [00:35:16]: So yeah.
Marilynn [00:35:17]: Not 0 to 100, but you need to start somewhere. The 6th one is caffeine and alcohol cutoff. So you already touched on this a bit, but you know, caffeine, you do wanna cut that off around noon. You don't wanna be having those afternoon coffees. And again, if you're sleeping well, you probably will find that you don't have that crash and you don't need that caffeine.
Jordanna [00:35:34]: Mm-hmm.
Marilynn [00:35:34]: If you're gonna have that wine or whatever, definitely 3, 4 hours before you go to bed because both are gonna have an impact on your sleep quality. Caffeine keeps your nervous system elevated, alcohol Might put you to sleep fast, but it's disruptive to your REM sleep. So this is why, again, you wake up and you're just, oh my God, I'm so tired. You never really slept well in the first place.
Tijana [00:35:52]: I hate that feeling. Yeah.
Marilynn [00:35:54]: 7th one is brain dump before bed. So if your brain, and I do have a busy brain, if it spins before bed, give it somewhere to land.
Jordanna [00:36:01]: Okay.
Marilynn [00:36:01]: So 5 minutes of journaling, make a list, brain dump of what you have to do tomorrow. Anything that you need that's in your brain, get it out so your head can be clear going into your sleep time. And the last one, if you have tried everything, then maybe it is time to seek some help. So if you've optimized the basics and you're still not sleeping, have a conversation with your doctor, have a conversation with your medical professional. Don't suffer through it and just think like, this is my baseline. I'm just tired all the time. I'm that woman. I guess the big takeaway from all of this is remember that sleep isn't the thing you fit in after everything else.
Marilynn [00:36:33]: It is the thing that everything else needs to fit around. So now, you know, plain and clear, sleep is not a luxury. It is not the thing you fit around training, work, kids, life. It is the foundation that everything you do is built upon. Your body composition, your hunger, cravings, mood, recovery, even the patience for the people you have in your life. Every single one of those is shaped by how you sleep. And most women, if you get really honest with yourself, you're treating it like the most disposable part of your day. And especially like we talked about when it comes to body composition and the goals you have, if you're working hard in the gym, if you're tracking nutrition and you're not seeing results, the answer is probably not work harder and eat less.
Marilynn [00:37:12]: The answer is like, maybe let me examine my bedtime because maybe I have to go to bed earlier or stop scrolling on my phone or wake up consistently. And we know it is not a quick fix. It takes time to develop sleep habits, but it is full stop the change you need to make. And we touched on this too, but the resistance that you might be feeling, right? The, those thoughts of, this is my only time where I get to have time to myself. We want you to reexamine that too, because that pattern's costing you more than you think. It's, it's actually costing you more than it's giving you. So, if you know that your sleep habits need to change, but you're not sure how to make it happen in your life, because everybody's life is different, different schedule, partner patterns, kids, your mental load, that is exactly why we're here.
Tijana [00:37:53]: Yeah.
Marilynn [00:37:53]: Exactly what we help our clients navigate. We're not gonna just sit you in front of us and say, you need to sleep more. Yeah, duh, we know that. We are gonna help you build the plan around your life so it becomes protected time, not something you hope to fit in. So if you're ready to stop treating sleep like a luxury and start treating it like that foundation that we talked about, we have some coaching spots opening up. You can fill out an application at getsculpted.ca/contact and let us help you make this the time you finally get your sleep back. Because let us tell you, once you have that sleep back, you will wonder how you ever did anything without it. Building your body, you know, creating that version of you that you've been working toward.
Marilynn [00:38:33]: Your 2.0 self is not on the other side of more effort. She's on the other side of better sleep. So, we wanna thank you as always for listening to today's episode, and we will chat with you on the next episode of the Get Sculpted Podcast.